Alive... just barely!

So.. I was able to run my 9 miles on Saturday. It was the only running/exercise I did all week after fighting off that nasty bug... I actually ran it at a decent pace, finishing in 88:31!! YAY!! Unfortunately I was fooling myself if I thought I was cured of my ailment.

Today I went to the trainer who attempted to single handedly murder me. Seriously.. I missed last week cause I was sick so she really tried to stick it to me. Unfortunately, it was very obvious to both of us that I am still not near 100%. I would say I'm closer to 75%! I was incredibly weak today and suffering from shortness of breath which is really not something I deal with often. I still have some congestion in my head and chest. I'm definitely not loving this.

I JUST WANT TO BE BETTER!!! BLAH!

I also was talking to Lisa today about weight gain during the holiday season. She just wrote the cutest post about this topic... HERE's a link if you want to read it! ;o)

Anyway... I'm around... but wishing I were enjoying life a little more. Hope you are all doing fantastic as we enter the LAST WEEK before weigh in!! WOW!! I can't wait to see how you girls have done this month!!! :o)

Ya'll ready for this? ;)

Okay.. this morning while making my breakfast, I couldn't help thinking how beautiful my oatmeal looked. Then I started thinking about Jewel and all her lovely food pictures and I thought... hey I am going to take a picture of my pretty breakfast! So.. for your viewing enjoyment:

Lovely eh? That would be 1/3 cup oats with water.. no salt with raspberries and blueberries. 2 Egg whites fried with pepper and spray olive oil stuff. One cup of coffee with 3T sugar free creamer!! Umm... plus.. I can't taste anything today! BLAH!! Still looks yummy though right! ;o)

Oh and I wanted to share another picture. I woke up this morning and was delighted to see....

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Been sick.

Okay.. the last couple of days I've been knocked on my ass with a terrible cough/cold. Luckily it seems to be going away. I really don't have time to be sick right now! My 1/2 marathon is in less than 3 weeks!! WAHOO!!!

I've noticed a trend in my weight loss. I have a menu that I eat the last 10 days of the month. It is mostly veggies and lean proteins. I love it and hate it at the same time but as soon as I quit doing it.. I seem to quit losing weight. Turns out I also quit eating.

The menu forces me to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours. When I stop the menu I stop eating frequently and just try to squeeze my calories in to the day. Well.. I started paying attention to how often I am eating and WOW!! It's a huge difference. The weight comes off and stays off. (Regardless of what I'm eating as long as it's within my calories.. although I pretty much don't eat processed carbs AT ALL) I am hovering around 127. Totally can't complain. I can't wait to be up and eating again... I am sure this will make a huge difference. I've started reading Tosca Reno's The Clean Eating Diet and I'm loving it. It is actually basically what I have done to my diet and I know that eating this way is WHY I will not be gaining weight back! :o)

Family Pics!

Last October, for whatever reason, I got brave and did family pics. (For the first time in YEARS!!) The funny part is that doing the pics was actually my way of embracing my big self. I had finally just decided to accept the fact that I was a size 18 and bought my 2xl sweater from the Old Navy plus size section . I also got a Lane Bryant card around the same time. ;o) Anyway... I got new family pics last week and wanted to do a quick before/after post.

[Click on the pic to make it bigger.]

Top pic October 2008. Bottom pic October 2009.

Taking a break!

Okay.. so this week I am supposed to run A LOT!! Problem?!? I went to Lisa on Monday who decided to teach me a lesson about my glutes and quads and overcompensation. LESSON LEARNED!! My quads are hashed. I still did my 4 mile run on Monday but was just not sure what my problem was until I woke up on Tuesday to BEYOND SORE Quads. Other parts of my body were sore.. but my quads... umm... we are talking popping ibuprofen every 8 hours!!

If I wasn't going to be running 12 miles on Saturday, I wouldn't really care... BUT... I've been taught that major muscle groups HAVE to recover... and I DESPERATELY want to run my 12 on Saturday without hating myself, the world, or running!! So.. I called my sweet trainer yesterday and asked for her input and she told me NOT to run!!

Hmm... what to do? I was scheduled to run 6 miles yesterday and 4 miles today but I WILL NOT be doing it... per her expert advise. I am replacing it with brisk walking and good stretching and trying to prep my quads for the longest run of my life (TO DATE) and the longest run I will do until my half marathon on November 7th.

I struggled with the decision to do what I know I should. I wonder.. is this an excuse I am feeding into?? I guess I have another lesson to learn here... sometimes what is best for me isn't what I want!! I do take comfort in knowing that I WANT to be running. I also take comfort in knowing that I still have control over my food choices and I will continue to make good choices!! (The next few days, those choices will involve a lot of protein to help repair my muscles!) I'm not celebrating the break by any means.. and I KNOW that I am going to feel AWESOME on Saturday!!

Adventures in la-la land!

This weekend I almost died. Okay.. not really.. but I felt like I did. I ran 11 miles. BLAH! I didn't eat well the night before and was severely punished for it after completion of my run. Next week it's 12. I hope I REALLY don't die! I recruited a neighbor... I heard she ran a marathon recently so introduced myself while asking her if she wants to run 12 miles with me on Saturday. She is a total trooper and seems excited about it! (Heaven help us both!)

I also have hit a few milestones.

#1 - I hit the 70 lb mark!! Wahoo!!

#2 - I have not seen anything in the 130's in several days. That's right gals... I'm in the 120's and I'm not going back to the 130's EVER again!!

#3 - I discovered something new about my diet. The number of times I eat in a day has a huge impact on my weight. If I eat 1400 calories one day (split into 3 meals) I actually gain BUT if I eat the same calories between 5 or 6 meals, the numbers drop! Crazy I KNOW!! But I'm never hungry and I'm loving my scale lately. Very soon I will be posting a pic with that magic 125 number on it!!!

#4 - I realized that I am FINALLY learning how to eat HEALTHY!! For 9 months I've been on this journey and I've been so busy counting calories, checking carbs etc.. that I haven't learned how to eat healthy, delicious foods! Thanks to Lisa I'm learning how to actually ENJOY food again!! YAY!!!

I'm hoping that I survive this week! It will involve a total of 26 miles of running in the next 5 days!! Umm... is it Friday yet? ;o)

New Mantra

I was reading a friends blog today. It had NOTHING to do with weight loss. But there was something so profound that I had to share it! She said:

You can't quit on your worst day!!

I was blown away as I read this statement. How often in life do we fail to follow through with something because we get to the breaking point and say "forget it!"? Don't do it girls. When you get to the point where you think you're going to fall apart, pushing past it shows you how strong you are.

We learn so much when we overcome our struggles. We become stronger when we push past the desire to quit and DO IT ANYWAY!!

I don't want to.

Some days... I don't want to!

I don't want to exercise.

I don't want to eat right.

I don't want to do anything hard.

Today was one of those days. I had a 4 mile run this afternoon that I really did NOT want to do. I'm sure you all think that I stand by the door in my jogging gear, just waiting for my husband to get home so I can go running... this is not usually the case. Today, was the extreme opposite. I just don't WANT to!!

I do things even when I don't want to. I ran that damn 4 miles. I won't say that I hated it... but I'm not going to say I feel blessed for the experience. I have learned something (over time) and that is that sometimes we do things because we NEED to, even if we don't want to.

Of course as many of us are moms, we totally get this. We wake up and don't want to get out of bed... but it's not an option to stay in bed all day! Kids need to get to school, children must be fed, diapers must be changed. We do these things even when we don't want to. WE SEEM TO ALWAYS DO FOR OTHERS when we are in this mood... so how come, when we don't want to do something for ourselves (like exercise) we can just say... to hell with it?

Another example... you send your kid to school but didn't have time to properly do their hair... do you spend the rest of the day refusing to change diapers or cook meals because you screwed up in the morning?!?! NO WAY!! But... so many of us make one mistake in the morning (like eating something we shouldn't have) and use that as a reason to do EVERYTHING wrong the rest of the day.

Hmm... maybe I'm on to something here.

When you start to see your health as a RESPONSIBILITY.. you start to make the time for it, and do it! Even when you DON'T WANT TO!!

Run Forrest!

Okay.. in the last 6 days I have ran a little over 30 miles. Some nights my body feels like it wants to fall apart. Today, I headed out for a 10 miler. I've NEVER ran 10 miles. But it's amazing that I left the house knowing that I was GOING to DO IT! I never thought for a second that it might be too hard.... or that I might not make it. I have this new found ability to make my mind up when it comes to exercise and diet... and I follow through! It's insane... and I LOVE IT! I barely kept my "goal pace" today. Running in just over 99 minutes. I would have loved to run it faster, but I'm pretty much just stoked that I ran it at all.

Every day I realize that there really is NO limit to what can be accomplished. We set our limits, WE convince ourselves that it can't be done, but it's simply not true. I am the only one standing in the way of reaching my potential. My goal for this month, to get the hell out of my way and run myself to that 125 lb goal that I set 9 months ago when I thought it would be IMPOSSIBLE to attain it. HOLY CRAP GIRLS!! I'm doing it!! After 10 miserable years full of excuses and limitations, I'm learning how strong I really am!

Before Pics

These are the pics I took at the beginning of the competition! Just wanted to post them... I need to take some after pics soon for the month!

Last year I had so much fun with these pictures. A friend would put them side by side for me and the difference was INCREDIBLE!! Can't wait to get some after pics today for the first month. I just hope my friend will make me more side by sides! (HINT HINT!!) I will never forget the first time I did these pics! So humbling. I was determined to never look like that again. I think those pics have helped me to be successful along the way. It was extra accountability for me. Every month I couldn't lie to the camera... and every month I was so excited to see the difference!

WINNERS!!

I just wanted to say that I saw Robyn T. at the gym yesterday and she looks incredible! Congrats Robyn. You are one tough gal and I know you will be just as fierce next month.. Seriously girls.. you should all be scared of this girl!!

Elise happens to be my SIL and I'm so happy for her. She is very strong willed and it's only fitting that she would lose 17 lbs if for nothing else then to prove that she can! LOVE YOU ELISE!!

Angela is also my SIL and I am SO excited for her 15 lb loss. She has been at my house on my treadmill DAILY.. walking/running/walking sideways and after that she shreds with Jillian on my TV! Her determination and hardwork is inspiring and it seriously makes me cry just thinking about her doing this!! I told her today that 9 months ago I was bigger than she is now.. 9 months is NOT THAT LONG AGO!! I KNOW that she can do this!! I'm so excited to be a small part of this journey for her and can't wait to share clothes with her! ;o)

And MISTY!! Oh Dear Misty. You better stop acting like you are sucking it up cause 12 lbs is nothing to sneeze at! ;o) Your pics from today are AMAZING!! Seriously, I saw you a month ago and look at you now!! WOWZA!!

Everyone did GREAT this month. I love that people are making healthy changes in their lives and recognizing places they can improve.

Another month, another goal. At some point in the next few weeks I am going to get to my "I'll never be smaller than" goal. When I first started this journey I thought that 125 sounded impossible... but anything smaller than that would be insane. SO 125 was my ultimate goal. (Now that I'm almost there.. I know it is POSSIBLE to be "smaller than" that goal!) I know it will be very symbolic when I get there... can't wait! Watch out girls! I already threatened October!! 120's here I come!!

Weigh in....

Today is the big day! Some of you are dancing circles naked in your bathroom as I type, while others are going over the entire month in their head and seeing everything they did wrong. Some of you are probably just frustrated and pissed off because you worked so hard and didn't get the results you wanted to see. To all of you I say:

DON'T GIVE UP!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

My official weigh in is down 7.4 lbs. 5.37%!!!!! I LOVE THIS!!. Soon I will be in the 120's but today... I think I'll celebrate a little. Not going to go crazy or anything.. but I might break a rule or two as long as I stay in my allotted calories... I would REALLY like something sweet... but not too sweet.. my splurge might totally end up being a frappucino... oh... how I love coffee! (It's my anti-depressant! Don't judge me! ;o) ) Congrats to whomever wins this month. I have my suspicions.. we'll see if I'm right!