Finish What You Start

School days!

2011-09-08T10:43:00.000-06:00

I am just starting my 3rd semester of nursing school and can already tell that this semester is going to literally kick my ass! In previous semesters there has been a lot of tests and little assignments. This semester.. I get BOTH!
I am actually not a very organized person... so now I have to figure out how to fit all of this into a day. I have school 3 days a week.. (for the next 2 weeks I get to go 4!). In the past I've done the opposite of procrastinate... like finished the assignment two weeks in advance... but in the past I've been incredibly bored with school.
I guess what I'm saying is.. I think I'm FINALLY learning what nursing school is and it's goign to be a fantastic opportunity for me to learn to balance what would normally seem impossible to a normal human being.
On a totally random note: The other day I was sitting next to a friend in Micro and he placed a "whoppers" wrapper in front of me. I mentioned something about not being able to eat sugar (which was sort of ironic since he is a type I diabetic) and when I said I needed to lose ten lbs he looked at me with disgust. It sort of baffled me. Which only shows that my self image is as incredibly messed up as the next girl. I also commented about going to weight watchers for a support group (because I have to attend a "support group" for psych) and the girl next to me... (whom I do not know) laughed out loud like that was funny. So... I get it. I'm "that" girl. The one who isn't "fat" who people will always think is nuts for trying to be smaller.
Welcome to my nutty brain! :)

Ready set go!

2011-09-05T11:21:00.000-06:00

It's been an interesting month.. between finals, my new job, and my boys being home for the summer life has been busy!! I also got shingles right after finals. And I went to the Dr. and started on an anti-depressant.... I am trying to take back control of my life. About 2 weeks ago I decided that tough love is the answer! I got online and signed up for a half marathon and have been RUNNING again! :) I figure either I will train and lose weight or I will run it out of shape and attempt to not die! Either way.. I'm running the race! I managed to get back down to the weight I was in July and so.. I am officially in this month. To be honest.. I need the money... :) Money is quite a motivator isn't it?

Okay... really... I'm serious... I am going to get into the 120's this month.

So... I need to make goals and DECIDE to do it.

#1 - No sugar. Period.

#2 - WATER WATER WATER!! AT least 80 ozs a day.

#3 - NO ALCOHOL!!

#4 - 5 meals a day.

#5 - RUN!!! At least 4 times a week! Walk hills 2 days a week.

#6 - Cancel gym membership... total waste of money!

#7 - NO EXCUSES!!!

I am going to make a print out of this and put it all over the place! My fridge... my school binder... the bathroom mirror... anywhere I will see it. I know it's important that I remind myself daily.

Now... WHY? Why do I want this?

#1. Because it's getting cold and I don't fit into any of my pants.

#2 Because being small is an advantage in flight nursing.

#3 Because I want to be an example of healthy living for my children.

#4 Because I miss feeling "cute".

#5 Because I want to feel in CONTROL of me.

#6 Because I love me when I am exercising.

#7 Because life is way too short to spend it wishing for something more.

#8 TO FINISH WHAT I START!!

I'm serious!! It's on!

Again

2011-08-04T19:51:00.000-06:00

I bought the book. I'm reading it. I'm remembering how amazing I felt when I was the Clean Eating Queen. Fingers crossed... here I go AGAIN!

Nightmares

2011-07-26T05:16:00.000-06:00

I went back to Colorado very briefly this weekend for Neena's wedding. I wish I would have had time to see and do all the things I wanted to do but to be very honest.. not only was there very little time, but there wasn't a lot within my comfort zone. See... people in Utah... they knew me back when I was over 200 lbs... but the Colorado folk... they've never known me to be large at all... and... as I laid on the floor of a friends basement after arriving there at 3 o'clock in the morning... I had a dream.. that people wouldn't recognize me because of my new found keg around the middle.
I met Neena when I worked at the gym... so each time people at the wedding would ask me how we knew them... I would have to tell them that I was her personal trainer the previous summer and every time I would start with "it's kind of embarrassing" because seriously... how embarrassing that last summer I was a personal trainer and this summer... I'm tiptoeing around an unhealthy BMI eating my own words... and sorrow!
I still have not figured out how to cope. How to be ME and still be a student, and a mom, and a wife, and health conscious!
GAH!! I have got to get this figured out now... strange I know.... but somedays I wonder if I actually know how. I mean... I know how to lose weight.. cause I did it before RIGHT? Except I'm not that girl anymore... I'm someone else. Maybe I'm more like who I want to become but less like the complete package I desperately want to be. I've never felt so intelligent and necessary to humanity before as I do when I'm LEARNING in school... but I also feel so incredibly LARGE and out of shape and hypocritical on a daily basis. Food glorious food! I think I'm going to dig out my "The Eat Clean Diet" and freshen up on why I loved that way of living!
Hope you are all well! :)

Tired

2011-07-18T05:16:00.000-06:00

I have recently realized that I have not only let myself go... but I have let everything go. I cannot remember a time in my adult life when I allowed my house to be a disaster ALL THE TIME!! Granted.. I have 4 boys... but for the most part I have always cleaned my house on a daily basis. I strongly dislike the place I live... and I use it as an excuse to let it look like a shit hole... and it's driving me insane.
It's hard to look around and realize that in a house of 6 people.. I'm the ONLY one who GIVES A SHIT! The whole thing translates to me being the only one who has any desire or sense of responsibilty to NOT live in a shit whole... it's overwhelming.. I'm really mad. I am tired. Tired of being unhealthy.... tired of being ashamed when my boys open the front door and their is a stranger on my porch. Tired of walking in the house and walking past something that surely needs to be picked up. Tired of everything.
It's 5:15 in the morning and I'm getting ready for spin class. I'm done not caring anymore! I just hope caring doesn't kill me.

Triathlon training

2011-07-13T11:34:00.000-06:00

We have OFFICIALLY started the triathlon training. I thought my husband might be more resistant but he is willing to go to the gym and head out on runs whenever I ask. You can tell he is discouraged with his lack of cardiovascular endurance.. which means we need to start hitting spinn classes HARD! Spin class seriously is my heart. I would love to go 5 times a week if I could swing it... it just kicks your butt.. pushes you beyond measure and DRASTICALLY increases your hearts ability to keep on keepin' on!! :) My attempt for spinn will be to get him to the gym at 5:30 in the morning on his days off... I'm sure he will not be too thrilled... but he is really trying to enjoy this. I think he actually believes that he MIGHT enjoy it if he didn't feel so "out-of-shape". I'm considering putting together weight lifting programs for him... but the gym we go to is a city rec center and the weight room is not close to big enough for the amount of people who utilize it so we shall see.
I have found that when I exercise, it's easier to eat right! Weird I know.. but I am way more health consicous when I feel better about me and that's what exercise does for me! Hope you are all doing well!!

The plan

2011-07-04T11:40:00.000-06:00

Okay... my hubby has decided to do a triathlon with me and has agreed to working out with me. Our regular schedule will look like this:

Monday: Swim laps

Tuesday: RUN

Wednesday: Swim laps

Thursday : RUN

Friday : REST

Saturday: Morning spin class at the gym

Sunday: Family hike

I also am going to start making sure to eat within 30 minutes of waking up and drinking my water again!

Bah!! Must make like Nike and JUST DO IT!

Having a plan

2011-07-01T08:25:00.000-06:00

I weighed in this morning. I was surprised that I haven't GAINED weight. (Although I have GAINED a ton since my lowest number this month!) I ended the month with a small loss.... of.... drumrol.... 1.6 lbs. BOO!!
Oh well.
June is gone. July is here and I owe it to ME to kick July's ass!! Instead of going off the old premise of "I already know how to do this, blah blah blah" I'm going off a new PLAN!! A guideline. Something I WILL stick to and remind myself of daily. SO... here goes.
I'm going to drink AT LEAST 80 ozs of water a day!!
NO SUGAR!
NO WHITE FLOUR!
LIMITED PROCESSED CARBS!
PORTION CONTROL!! (on special occasions I will not pass up on food... but I will NOT allow myself to overindulge. Everything must be cut at LEAST in half if it is against one of the above rules.)
EXERCISE!! (Guess who hasn't done ANY exercise since Ragnar?)
I intend to come up with an exercise regimen that involves running, biking, swimming and lifting. I will post that fancey schedule by Monday and get my ass in gear. I MISS the gym... but I also don't have the same type of gym here... (they exist but a family pass at the community center seemed like a better choice for the family.)
Okay.. next month I'm going to at least FEEL AMAZING!! Even if I'm not down 13 lbs... :) Good luck to all of you!!

The keys to my failure....

2011-06-27T07:00:00.000-06:00

Ragnar was a whirlwind.. but it was also full of disaster and sabotage. I loved it and hope to do it again. Meanwhile.. life has been exhausting. School is great!! The boys are great!! Summer is fun!! And still.. life feels as if it's falling apart at the seams. I've decided to do a sprint triathlon in August and have invited my husband to join me. I've also decided to do a Mud run in September... I can't wait. Right now I need a runnin g goal. Need to find a 10k and get back to running. If I thought for a minute I could tell you all the truth... I would write 10,000 more words. But I can't so I won't. Life is HARD. and overwhelming... and I'm just living.

Do you want to run a relay race

2011-06-18T20:08:00.000-06:00

This is pretty spot on! Pictures to follow!! "It was fun!"

Whats in a week?

2011-06-13T20:05:00.000-06:00

The week has been nutso. I'm busy getting ready for the Ragnar Relay!! I'm SO EXCITED!!! I have been running and loving the couple of 2 a days I've done! (2 a day = running twice in a day). As soon as Ragnar is over I will start to add some resistance training to my regimen.. right now.. I'm just terrified of being sore or hurting my knees. School is crazy as usual.
I have LOST weight!! YAY!!! My biggest obstacle right now is simply waiting for payday to buy more food cause right now our cupboards and fridge are lacking in the fresh foods department. I've noticed my boobs getting smaller. I know it's sick and wrong but I get GIDDY when my boobs start to shrink. Its a sign that my body fat percentages is decreasing... and that's kind of the point right? I'm hoping to be back into the 120's at the end of this month... that means a lot of steadfast effort. I know I can do it! I've done it before! I just have to keep EATING LESS and MOVING MORE!! :) YAY!!

Mad TV - Eat Less, Move More (Crista Flanagan)

2011-06-07T07:30:00.001-06:00

Not to be insulting... I LOVE THIS!

Sick and tired of being sick... and tired...

2011-06-06T13:24:00.000-06:00

Blah! I've been feeling like BLAH for a couple of days now. It started out with a head/chest cold and adopted ALLERGIES along the way. It might sound odd.. but I'M NEVER SICK.. so anything that feels like I'm set back just makes me MAD! It's also made me all sorts of funky. I don't want to do what I know I should.. (like study for my fundamentals test or eat). I also decided in the pit of my sorrow to deactivate my facebook account.. so I can spend less time on the crap that doesn't matter.. and more time on the things that do.
Yesterday I went running twice... chest crap and all. It felt awesome and like straight up torture depending on the moment. I just want to feel like me. Right now.. I feel BLAH!

The pants!

2011-06-04T10:40:00.001-06:00

This picture was taken in January of 2010. The pants in this picture NO LONGER FIT!!! I loved how I felt in them and I figured... I could make them my goal pants for this comp. Yesterday I [literally] squeezed my self into them. I broke the zipper gettng them on... but I took a picture anyway...

So... here goes nothing.. my new quest: fit into these Jeans by October! READY SET GO!! :)

Attitude... it truly is everything.

2011-06-01T16:30:00.000-06:00

I've been going insane over what my first blog of this comp would be about. I wanted to imagine it as a new start, a new chapter, however you want to look at it. I thought it would reflect some great epiphany where I remind myself that where I've come from, where I've been... none of that matters unless I know where I am going.

Today my mother-in-law hit a new chapter in her struggles with pancreatic cancer. She is now "officially" stage IV thanks to [inevitable] metastisis. Which brings me to my point.

Are you living? Or dying?

Marilyn is absolutely going to die. BUT.. SO ARE YOU!

Attitude is everything.

So here we sit. We all have an inevitable fate... and we make choices that can contribute to when/where/how... but reality is.. we can only choose how we live. We do not choose how we die. Marilyn, my mother-in-law, one of the most amazing women on the planet: SHE IS LIVING! And her every breath challenges me to LIVE!!! To breath!! To enjoy every moment life has to offer.

To live until the moment I die.

This competition represents a new me. I lost the old me when I realized that life has no guarantees. I changed... became someone else. I stopped LIVING.. and started resenting life.

So my new chapter begins. Today... I will live the way I hope my children will live. I will adopt habits that make me feel better about me. I will do things that make waking up every morning worth the hassle. I'm DONE feeling mediocre... I'm DONE living life like it's something owed to me. I'm READY to be EXCEPTIONAL and to take advantage of this gift.

Don't get caught up in that theory that "life is too short to skip on dessert". Dessert never made you feel any better about who you are. It never brought you to accomplish some great task. It never taught you how powerful and strong you are... all it ever did [for me] is make me feel powerless, bloated, and inferior.

The idea that nothing tastes as good as thin feels is TOTAL CRAP!! But I guarantee NOTHING tastes as good as you feel when YOU are in control of you!!

I'm taking back control!

Watch out world.

Spinn Class

2011-05-23T11:18:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow morning I'm going to Spinn class. I only have like 2 weeks of being able to go on Tuesdays so it's on! :)

Silence that means something.

2011-05-21T21:22:00.000-06:00

So in the past when I'm not blogginb.. it's because I'm not doing anything. LUCKILY this has NOT been the case. I'm running like a mother. My treadmill is my new best friend. I love Nip/Tuck! I bought a new pair of awesome shoes, a head lamp and a purple running hat! The one thing I'm sucking at is diet.. and that's when my new plan comes in:

I have made an executive decision:

I'm starting a comp! June 1-October 1. $50 buy in. ALL money is prizes. Monthly and end of comp prizes and NO BOYS!! Also I'm officially capping it! NO MORE THAN 25 people. And my sister Vicki is going to compete and help me keep everything running smoothly!
ARE YOU INTERESTED????

Check

2011-05-16T15:32:00.002-06:00

6 mile run on the treadmill last night while watching the season finale of Survivor. Hey.. whatever it takes right? ;)

Cross Train

2011-05-14T09:55:00.001-06:00

I LOVE cycling. It's really my favorite exercise. It's amazing how easy it is on your joints while still burning a zillion calories. When I woke up at 6:45 this a.m. I figured now was as good a time as any to get my cross training workout out of the way and so I got all decked out in my best running clothes (cause I'm way too cheap to buy nice cycling clothes) and got my mountain bike down (also too cheap to buy a fancy [ridiculously expensive] street bike).
I was a little surprised when I realized that I still had the pedals on my bike from my Triathlon. They are fancy, have cages, and have this mechanism that allows you to get your feet out of them by turning your foot sideways. I KNEW the moment I looked at them that they were a disaster waiting to happen. I haven't ridden my bike in way too long and couldn't even remember how to clip into them... but I couldn't resist. Cages allow you to push AND pull when you are cycling which allows you to use your quads AND hamstrings as agonists... more muscle burn... more calorie burn. So I left them.
3 miles into my ride, my water bottle magically decided to turn sideways and hang upside down out of the bottle holder. Which each revolution I would hit it with my calf and spray water everywhere. I should have just left the damn thing... let it fall to the ground and spit on it as I rode away. Instead... I reached down and strategically tried to adjust it... WHILE going uphill... completely lost momentum and thought.. "Oh SHIT! THIS is why I should have changed the pedals!" I managed to get my foot "unlocked" just as I hit the ground and the result? Just a little blood on my thigh from what I could see. I refused to let is stop me.. manually locked the damn pedal back into place.. LEFT the water bottle on the side of the trail... and road another 10 miles. IT wasn't until about mile 11 that I reached down to my knee and realized it was bleeding a little... and NOW for your viewing pleasure:

Awesome right? My kid also pointed out my whole back side was covered in dirt! My husband instantly reminded me of why he didn't want me to buy those pedals in the first place and me? Well... I burned 500 calories on a 60 minute bike ride! I'm AWESOME! ;)

Dear Quads

2011-05-11T17:33:00.000-06:00

Dear Quads-

I know I have abandoned you the last few months and I am VERY VERY sorry! Unfortunately this time around, I am more stubborn than you. There is no rest day until Friday. And on Saturday we will be doing a nice long bike ride.. as for today I went gentle on you.. but I HAVE to run so whether you like it or not.. 40 minutes was absolutely necessary for my brain to take back control of me. Tomorrow we have a shorter 3 mile run AND strength training again so... here's the deal... I PROMISE to run REALLY SLOW tomorrow and to ONLY do strength training on my arms, abs, back and chest. In exchange, I would GREATLY APPRECIATE if you would chill the eff out. Stop hurting non stop! I would love to stop saying "ow" when my children climb on my lap.. and to be able to sit on the toilet without tears. I would also LOVE to bend over and pick up the baseball when I'm playing catch with my sons without feeling like I'm 90.

If you will do this small favor for me, I promise to NOT ignore you again!

Sincerely,

The Rest of Your Body

Day two!

2011-05-10T18:58:00.000-06:00

Wow 2 whole days in a row!! :) I woke up this morning sore.. but I've been that way since Saturdays race. My quads have been punishing me for days now so yesterdays strength + run has not helped them let up. I also may have overdone it on the glute extensions yesterday.. my ass HURTS.. so do my hamstrings... I figure tomorrow my triceps and biceps and abs and chest will change from the light ache I feel today to that overwhelming sense of "accomplishment". Oh well.. PUNISHMENT IT IS!! I deserve it.

I had an "EASY" 4 mile run today. The training plan I am following defines easy as between 65% and 75% of your max heart rate... or as a run where you should be able to talk the whole time. This means that 4 miles is dragged out over a long period of time.... not my favorite type of run. I'm more of a quicky kind of girl.. ;) I put in the harder effort in order to get finished faster. I figured I would hit my lovely treadmill and watch Nip/Tuck while I ran. I've never seen it before but had heard I might like it. It definitely helped the time fly by. Thank you Netflix! I couldn't help thinking about tomorrows run... a tempo run.. 40 minutes... where I actually have to push my achy body... and I had to stop and remind myself to:

take it one day at a time.

For anyone who has no idea what the Ragnar Relay is, it's a 188.2 mile team relay. There are 12 people on my team and over the course of approximately 30 hours, we will each run three legs. I am runner 3, which means I run two 5 mile runs and one 8 mile run. I signed up for a zillion reasons. My MILS pancreatic cancer, a goal to accomplish, and to be part of a team. I love feeling accountable to others... so here goes. Day 2 is DONE! Wish me luck for day numero tres. :)

5 months! REALLY?

2011-05-09T17:29:00.001-06:00

Life... it's been insane. I have finished my first semster of nursing school with a big fat 4.0. I've also struggled a ton in personal relationships and lost myself along the way. I signed up a couple of months ago to run the Ragnar Relay on an American Cancer Society team, even raised a bunch of money for it... and I've sat around getting fatter.. not doing anything to train for it.. until now!! THANKFULLY... I think I am officially back! I've gained about 15 lbs since I moved back to Utah in November... this means I am 15 lbs heavier than I was last year when I was running like a champ! I realize that with my training for this event I've GOT to get back on track and get at least 10 lbs off. I run faster when I'm lighter.. it's easier on my joints... and I threw all my fat clothes away so if I gain another lb I'm going to have to be naked except on school days when I am required to wear nice, roomy, scrubs! :)

I ran a half marathon relay on Saturday... which means I ran half of a half or 6.55 miles. I did this without training and had my ass handed to me. The entire time I was running I kept thinking... running may be like riding a bicycle but running fast means I HAVE TO TRAIN!! I finished with a pace of 10:10... and was far from thrilled. A year ago Saturday I had ran a 10k (6.1 miles) with a pace of 8:23. I was in shape... now I'm a shape.. just more of an apple than a healthy fit gal (on a side note my husband is thrilled with the return of two big lumps of fat that cover my pectoral muscles).

Today I started my training schedule for ragnar with a strength workout and a 40 minute run. I am going to start blogging daily and will be posting my workout logs. You are welcome to them. If you have questions about what a specific exercise is, email me and I will try to answer them. You can also google most anything listed on the page.

I start school again on Thursday... I still am trying to figure out exactly how to balance school, my marriage, being a mom, and making time for MYSELF with my husbands nutty schedule (he goes to work at 5am and gets home at 7pm 4 days a week). I also have to figure out how to get over the fact that my husband firmly believes that taking time for me is just incredibly selfish. It has always been this way... but I've let it become an excuse.. and I can't do that anymore! NO MORE EXCUSES!!

I have 6 weeks to train... I'm ready to bring it! I think...

How losing weight has changed me.

2011-01-09T08:03:00.001-07:00

Friday was my nursing school orientation and holy geeze was it amazing. I always knew I would be a nurse "someday" but I honestly never planned on prioritizing enough to have that happen before I was 50. I never ACTUALLY believed I would be willing to make a commitment like this.. to myself or anyone else.. and this is what has brought me to blog today.
Losing weight has always been about MORE to me then a number on a scale. A LOT of my drive came from the concept of FINISHING SOMETHING FOR ONCE!! I have always been a slacker when it comes to committing. I had a list of obstacles a mile long and that list kept me from achieving much of anything. Because I accepted them as a reality of my defeats. And I was okay with that.
When I committed to 5 months of sticking to something, I never dreamed it would change me completely. I wasn't even sure that I was actually going to lose a single pound.. I was just insistent that I was going to START and FINISH this competition. In fact, the lack of support from everyone around me [when I first started] only solidified my devotion to do it. Because in the past I had proven myself incapable of following through. If you are just starting your journey, know now that even though your loved ones WANT you to succeed... they don't actually believe you will. If your significant other doesn't seem to be jumping for joy that you are taking on a healthier life.. it's because he/she doesn't actually think you are going to stick to it and he/she does not want to be in trouble for anything they may have said to encourage you when you fail.
After losing my first 50 lbs I wrote this.
So today.... 2 years after I started.. here is a new list. A list of things I've learned and overcome on this crazy journey that started out as a 5 month commitment and completely changed my life!

1. Commitment: I have learned that I have the ability to fully commit to things. I do not just take on things with a hope of survival, I take them on determined to thrive.

2. Word elimination: I no longer use words like can't, want, try. These words sound like fluff to me. You will not find me saying "I want to lose 10 lbs!" BECAUSE I know I CAN do it. I WILL lose 10 lbs, end of discussion. ;) (P.S. I'm down 4!!!!) I know that you all know that when your children/friends/spouses say the word "try" it means they will do it if it is convenient for them. DON'T TRY!! DO IT!!

3. Vision: My vision no longer seems like an unattainable dream... it is reality. I no longer long to be this or that.. I see what I want and I GO FOR IT!! Life is too short to live in a world of ambitions and goals. I stopped making goals a long time ago.. I make commitments and it is ON!

4. Overcoming fear: I've never been overly outwardly fearful but I have ALWAYS been afraid of failure.. in fact, fear of failure is why I never lost weight in the past (I was overweight for 9 years). It's also why I never finished a single college level class (after marriage) and why I NEVER EVER would have started nursing school or anything else for that matter. I was terrified of failure... and now... well, failure isn't an option. Sound cliche? I know... but honestly IT'S TRUE! I do not fear failure at all because I refuse to go there.

5. Fear of hard work: Umm.. yes.. this would have been the definition of me in the past. As a general rule of thumb I lived by the concept that "if it doesn't come easy to me... it isn't worth the effort." WOW!! I have done a complete 180 on that one. I LOVE hard work now. I love to do things that others think are impossible. I love to go the extra mile [or 2] because I have learned how to push myself beyond what I ever thought was possible. I am not afraid to work hard, I only fear complacency now.

6. Overcoming obstacles: Somewhere along this journey I redefined my obstacles as my EXCUSES. I finally embraced the truth, that the mile long list of obstacles was a list of things I ALLOWED to get in the way of my success. I never really made a list in the beginning.. in my archives I found this and it truly is a list of everything I let define me for a VERY long time. On Friday, the director of my school asked us to shout out answers, of things that might get in the way of our success in the program... and I just couldn't contribute. I refuse to believe that there are obstacles that can get in the way of my success... because I WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN!!

7. Accountability: I just joined Lisa's biggest loser challenge. I'm sure there were people in the room who seriously couldn't figure out what I was doing there. So here is my confession to all of you. I need to lose weight I have gained in the last 4 months. No excuses. Life is always hard. I just let myself lose a little bit of fire. I don't want to lose this weight because I think I look bad (because I look just fine) I want to lose it because I DON'T want to become complacent and have these 10 lbs turn into twenty and so on and so forth until I'm back to where I started.

The magic of a year.

2011-01-06T08:59:00.001-07:00

I have this friend on facebook who has posted these random "ecards" with funny insight on her page. The first one that I posted yesterday was meant to be funny but this one well.. I felt it BLOG worthy!

Here's the deal: We decide we are FINALLY going to do it, and get all pumped up RIGHT?!?! And then.. we are perfect for like 3 days and we get on the scale and WHAT?? 1/2 a lb!? THAT'S IT?!?!?

And we give up. Exercise and nutrition was a dumb idea anyway! ;) And a year goes by. And some of you.. are sitting in the exact same spot you started last year with nothing to show but maybe a little reassurance that it can't be done and an overwhelming feeling that you are meant to be fat FOREVER!

I was one of these people! I had decided to embrace my fat self and take the world on in my awesome Lane Bryant jeans. I DO GET THIS!

So this is where the card comes in. When you give up.. you deny yourself the opportunity to grow. So what if you have 100, 200 or even 300 lbs to lose??? The point is this: you have an opportunity to be successful by just sticking to it. If you lost only 1 lb a week.. then by this day next year you would be 52 lbs lighter!

When we give up on ourselves, on putting forth effort into reaching OUR goals... we deny ourselves the opportunity to become better. Not better because our pants are smaller... BETTER because we have learned to push ourselves, learned that the limits we make up in our head are BULLSHIT! That we can do things we never dreamed, never thought were possible. That we can prove people around us wrong by finishing what we start. That we can wake up a year from now and say.. I can't believe it's been a whole year since I started this crazy journey!! LOOK AT ME NOW!!

Just make a change. Change your diet. Start exercising. AND KEEP DOING IT!! You've got this... you've just got to believe it, and you will be unstoppable!

EXHAUSTING!

2011-01-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

New year....

2011-01-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to imagine what I would write on the first day of the new year. I must admit, I never expected to be anticipating so much change in the next 365 days. I face this new year with FEAR. Fear for what we may be encountering, that I might not be able to hold it together, that I might become more vulnerable and less confidant in the world around me. It's already starting of course, I struggle daily to find a new focus.. one that doesn't involve time... and time is something I desperately strive to overcome. Whatever is to come in the next year, I pray for strength to not lose myself.

I'm starting nursing school in 10 days. I'm excited and nervous. I am smart, I know I will do fantastic... but I'm also easily annoyed and don't like stupid people. I get frustrated with people who repeatedly ask stupid questions. I am sort of a social oddity. I'm funny, clever, whitty, blunt, honest, intelligent, and did I mention I hate stupid people? I just honestly have no idea if I will have a single friend in school, because few people get me, or should I say?? Few people can keep up with me. It's funny that I worry about this because the reality is, I don't REALLY care if people LIKE me... but I do care when they don't. I am not used to having peers. I have been out of school for 12.5 years. I identify with my fat self, which makes no sense to people who didn't know me when I was bigger. UGH!! I guess maybe this year I should just figure out who the hell I am!!

So here goes.. my goals for 2011. The things I CAN CONTROL!!!

I will run 1000 miles this year, including at least 2 half marathons and one sprint triathlon.

I will get down to my maintenance weight and stay between 120-125 lbs.

I will THRIVE (not just survive) in nursing school.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

1000 Miles??

2010-12-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to find some sort of goal/focus to get me back on track. I would love to do another Sprint Triathlon this year and plan on doing another half marathon in June, but I've been looking for something to do right now without much luck. A friend of mine posted something on her facebook yesterday. Her goal for the year is to run 1000 miles. That's a little less than 20 miles a week.. and it sounds BRILLIANT to me!! I mean really.. why the heck not right? How fun to keep track of every mile I run with some long/shortterm goal in mind.

1000 Miles? Sounds like a plan! ;)

My Lists

2010-12-27T06:32:00.001-07:00

I often get asked how to stay motivated to succeed in weight loss. I wish I had some perfect answer, or that I could simply bottle it and give out samples... but the reality is.. I CANNOT MOTIVATE OTHERS. We all have different things that drive us. Different things that keep us going. Different reasons why we want to succeed. I am no exception to this. I must find motivation on days I want to give up. I HAVE to drag my butt to the gym some days. I make nutritional bloopers. I have PMS and chocolate cravings and some days I'm a wreck.

Life is hard.

When people ask me for help, I ask them to make 2 lists. One - of all the reasons they want to succeed and one - of all of the obstacles standing in their way. (You would be surprised how many people NEVER bother making these lists when they realize I have no quick fix.)

And so, for your viewing pleasure.... my NEW lists:

Why I Want to Succeed:

1. To prove it can be done. I have done so well in the past at losing, I figured out maintaining for about a year... but when life got harder... I sort of lost it. Must pull it together again.

2. To fit [comfortably] into all the cute jeans I was wearing this time last year.

3. To be a role model. This is where I would have said, to be around for my kids longer etc... etc... but my focus HAS to change from this. My 60 year old, incredibly health conscious mother in law has pancreatic cancer and will most likely be gone before spring.... I used to believe that healthy lifestyles = long lives, but it simply isn't true. This will be my biggest obstacle. It is incredibly hard mentally for me to work SO hard knowing that all my hard work could be in vein. MUST find a new focus as my 383rd birthday is simply not a guarantee.

4. To NOT be a hypocrite. I know that's probably lame... but I don't want to have to eat all these pretty words I've been typing for 2 years. I know it's possible... so damn it, I'm going to stick to it.

5. To fit into the scrubs I bought for school that are too tight to wear in public. (I start school in 2 weeks and seriously, I bought one pair of scrubs that shouldn't be too tight but are!) BOO!!

6. To continue to inspire others to dig in and find their motivation.

7. To keep that WOW factor. (I can't help but love the "I can't believe you have 4 kids, you are so tiny" comments.

8. To feel good about me. Exercise and eating right make me feel euphoric. Don't want to lose it.

9. To live life without becoming complacent. I do not want to be the person who gives up on what I really want because I fall into the "good enoughs." NO NO NO!!!

10. To be HEALTHY!! That's right boys and girls.. even though there are no guarantees in quantity of life, I can surely guarantee myself QUALITY of life.

My Obstacles:

1. My 4 kiddos. I don't want to sacrifice time with my children. I used to believe I was buying myself time, it was a fair trade. Now, I realize that there is no guarantee that I'm buying time so...

2. School. I start nursing school in 2 weeks!

3. Money. Eating right isn't cheap.

5. Pancreatic cancer. My mom-in-laws diagnois of this disease has destroyed a lot of my drive. Some days, I wonder why I should even bother with all this hard work? Why should I skip out on overindulgence? Why bother exercising? Because none of that seems to matter to pancreatic cancer. I don't want to die. And this disease has been a huge reminder to me that life is not guaranteed. And it pretty much pisses me off.

6. My husband. My husband has always been my biggest hurdle. He scowls at me when I cook myself healthy food. He makes snotty comments when I go to the gym. He openly voices his annoyance when I spend money on food for myself because ultimately he refuses to eat the way I do. He even mentioned to me yesterday that he has "no faith in me." As he rolled his eyes at my mention of potty training my 2 year old. Sometimes I think he WANTS ME to feel like crap. That he prefers a less confidant me. He is my sabotage. He is the one obstacle that I seem to always let defeat me. I have spent 2 years trying to find a balance only to discover that he is only happy when I don't do for me.

Reality check: My list of obstacles is my list of excuses. In the past I've checked these off the list, one by one... and now... I must figure out how to do it all over again. Everything is different now. I am different now. I have come to realize that there are no guarantees in life, something I used to be sort of, blind to. I have used my love for life as a motivating factor to DO... and now, I've got to find a whole new reason to succeed.

Anyone out there reading, I would love to know....

WHAT DRIVES YOU???

And in case you were interested, here is MY LIST of reasons from day one of this blogging adventure!

I wonder...

2010-12-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

This morning, as I fished my yoga pants from the bottom of my drawer, I couldn't help but laugh at the idea that those particular pants had been "trying not to get their hopes up" every other day I had reached in that drawer for the last 2 months! ;)

Treadmill class sort of felt like punishment for 2 months of being bad. I ran just a little over 5.5 miles and never quit.. though I felt like dying. I actually was really interested in the other women on the treadmills. OF the 10 in the class, at least 5 of them stopped repeatedly during the workout to do things like; drink their water, wipe their face, or stretch. I see those things as EXCUSES to stop and wondered how many of them had any idea what it meant to REALLY work hard. It was like a bunch of women who had NO CLUE what it is like to be OBESE. I found myself wishing so badly that the other ladies in the cardio room were on those machines. Those ladies are the ones I relate to.. the ones busting their ass at the gym, feeling like it is IMPOSSIBLE to be one of the gals on the treadmill. I wanted to scream out.. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! But, I couldn't breath and refused to stop so I just kept on running!

Food for today:

Breakfast: 2 egg whites, 1/4 cup oats cooked in water with 1 t honey and a little cinnamon

Midmorning Snack: One scoop of protein shake (125 calories and 21 g protein) with a small fuji apple.

Lunch: Chicken salad which consisted of 1 roma tomatoe, romaine lettuce, 4.3 ounces of chicken sauteed in balsamic vinegar, a little feta cheese and 2 T of vinageratte dressing (45 calories in 2 T.)

This was YUMMY!!!

Dinner: Taco salad with no processed carbs so.,.. meat, cheese, light sourcream, avocado, FF refried beans, olives, onions, tomato and a WHOLE LOTTA LETTUCE. (This meal was probably way more calories then I needed in one sitting).

Dessert: (This is a rarity) One tiny scoop (about 1 oz) of mint chocolate brownie ice cream. (It was a birthday party.)

So food wasn't perfect but it was SO much better! I drank at least 80 ozs of water today and didn't feel hungry at all! :) Tomorrow is another day. Can't wait!

Day 1... sorta...

2010-12-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

I decided to start this thing today, even though I knew that day one would NOT be the best example. I chose this day because last night was my last shift at the hospital. I got home at 7:30 this morning and slept until around 11:45. This of course means the day looks a lot like a big mess... and I spent most of it on the verge of exhaustion.
Regardless.... todays (VERY BAD) example is:
12 ozs of coffee with 2 packets of truvia and 1 T milk.
One orange
Two 70 calorie string cheeses
One small chili from Wendy's with cheese and onions
One half of a half cobb salad from Wendys
probably around 40 ozs of water
NO EXERCISE.
Lots of things were wrong with this day. I did NOT consume enough calories, I didn't drink enough water, and I didn't exercise (although I did do a lot of walking/shopping today! ;) )
Tomorrow will be a normal day. Hopefully the blog will look much better tomorrow evening.
First thing in the morning.. I'm hitting a treadmill class at the gym! YAY!!!

UGH-liness

2010-12-21T13:12:00.001-07:00

I moved.
I got a job.

I have been eating crap.

I have not been exercising.

I have gained 7 lbs in 2 months.

Yesterday was the last day of my job.

(My AMAZING Mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer so I resigned from my job to be home to support my family!)

I have a gym membership.

I have a plan.

Starting TODAY!!

I am going to lose 10 lbs in one month.

I am going to exercise at least 5 times a week.

And record all of my activity and everything I eat on this blog DAILY.

I am going to get back to my healthy way of life.

I'm hitting the grocery store and stocking up on produce and protein sources.

I'm going to drink 80-100 ozs of water a day!

I'm going to start feeling AMAZING again!

Starting weight 132.6! First thing after I woke up from my last graveyard this afternoon. THIS IS IT!! UGH!!

I would love comments! The more people I know are reading, the more motivated I am. I love feeling accountable. Like somehow I'm making a difference. I love proving that things that seem impossible REALLY ARE possible. So.. hold me accountable. :) ONE MONTH!! In one month I will be back to 122 lbs or less! WOOT WOOT!

New Audience, New Voice!

2010-10-21T08:01:00.018-06:00

I realize that I am going to have some new traffic to my blog thanks to a crazy idea to send a pic to Bob Harper the BL trainer. I didn't realize at the time that a zillion people would see it AND that a few of them would be inspired to change their lives because of it.

A few HUNDRED people have asked how I did it and I hate to disappoint those people so I will answer them as best I can but be warned... my answer may equally disappoint. This is a story of hard work, skipping Easter candy and SO MUCH MORE!! Read it if you dare but know in advance that I lost my weight with the good old fashioned sentiment of "EAT LESS MOVE MORE!!"

I was chubby as a child but thinned out around 9th grade and became incredibly active at that time. I graduated high school, headed off to college (where I ate myself 20 lbs heavier). I left college after only one semester, met my NOW husband, got pregnant, married and gained another 50 lbs. One year (and 5 days) after my first son was born I gave birth to my 2nd son. Over the course of the next 4 years I would occasionally try another fad diet. Atkins, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, and of course... prescription weight loss pills that made me poop my pants. ALL of these worked briefly. All of them became inconvenient incredibly quickly. All of them rendered me a failure and reaffirmed the idea I had in my head that "it's impossible." At one point during the 4 years of failure I had a conversation with an internal medicine doctor in which he told me essentially that "weight loss wasn't worth the work". He told me it was SOOO hard to lose the weight and even harder to keep it off and that I would have to starve myself and run 10 miles a day to even dream about being in my high school jeans. And with that... I rendered it not only impossible, but foolish, stupid, and a dream not worth working towards.

It's interesting the bigger I got on the outside, the smaller I felt on the inside.

I gave birth to my 3rd son 5 years after my 2nd son was born. I never even thought about weight loss at this point. 2 years after my 3rd son, my 4th son arrived and I was well over 200 lbs. It was at this point that I decided to EMBRACE my big self. I asked a close photographer friend to take family pictures for me and I LIKED THEM!

In December of 2008 I finally went and got myself a Lane Bryant Card and bought myself some cute size "2" jeans! (Lane Bryant sells plus size clothes only and they resize them to make yourself feel better that you are a "2" and not a 20!) Life was going FANTASTIC! I was pretending to be incredibly happy stuffed into my new jeans. I was embracing the concept that my size didn't interfere with my ability to be a good mother, wife, friend etc. And then one day... my bubble got popped and I realized just how big of a lie I was accepting as truth.

That Christmas my boys received snow boards and so did I! I was thrilled to pick up a new sport! I even went into the sports supply store and squeezed myself into the LARGEST pair of snow pants that they had in the store. (They were overalls!) I couldn't breath.. but those pants zipped up and became the LAST pair of XXL anything I EVER bought! Snowboarding was devastating. I would almost instantly fall. Once I fell, it was IMPOSSIBLE to get back up. As you can see from above, my husband is a thin man. It was his COMPLETE INABILITY TO COMPREHEND how on earth I couldn't just GET UP that really put me in my place. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I get my fat ass up out of the snow? Big AH-HA moment. My weight WAS interfering with EVERY aspect of my life!!

And finally!! I got mad! I got motivated! I stopped lying to myself! And I determined to change!

I started telling people that I had to do something to change and my cousin mentioned to me that she was joining a weight loss competition with a group of photographers and I jumped at the opportunity to compete. It gave me focus, support, and drive. And for the first time in my life, I admitted that I never followed through with ANYTHING and made it my goal to just FINISH SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!! I joined this 5 month competition not knowing what on earth I was doing.. I just KNEW that I was going to do it for 5 months. AND that whatever I did.. it had to be something I could DO FOREVER!! I realized then that temporary changes only yield temporary results and I refused to lose weight only to regain it!

So what did I do? Well.. I went insane.. I got obsessive.. I freaked out and changed things up here or there but the one thing I always did was NoT EaT SuGaR, WhItE FlOuR, OR DrInK AlCoHoL! I also followed a few guidelines that I picked up from a new friend who happens to be a fantastic personal trainer! (Click HERE for a list of the "RULES" I followed to lose the weight!) These rules were really the bread and butter of my diet plan. They forced me to EAT!! And EAT RIGHT!! 2 concepts I had never before been willing to accept. I also began a normal exercise regimen. I was at the gym 5-6 times a week. I was fortunate enough to know a couple of people who had given me some sort of direction in the gym so I made sure to do 30 minutes of cardio and 20-30 minutes of resistance training EVERY TIME I stepped in the door. However, I fully embraced the concept that EXERCISE IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO EAT BADLY!! Exercise was supplemental to my plan. It fed me MENTALLY when I couldn't feed myself physically, but it is NOT the reason I lost 80+ lbs!
I know on the Biggest Loser they are always showing everyone MELTING in the gym... but watch seasons where people have thrown the weighins.. they still worked their ass off in the gym.. it was what they put in their mouths that kept weight on!!
I feel like this entry is already WAY too long!! If you have questions.. feel free to post comments and ask them! Maybe I'll do a q and a next blog entry! For now... start with the idea that
IT IS POSSIBLE AND YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

What doesn't kill me...

2010-09-01T14:21:00.001-06:00

Ambition: an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment

This morning I decided I was going to take my little guys on a bike ride. This requires me to put their butts in a trailer with a bent wheel and haul them behind my mountain bike. I do this often to run errands in town, I actually have an unwritten rule that if I'm going somewhere in town I MUST ride my bike. I also have taken cycling to a whole new world since I started spinn class.. basically when I ride I NEVER stop peddling!! Not to slow down, not on a down hill.. I use my gears and my legs NEVER stop moving!! Well.. today I figured I'd do a long ride originally I thought I'd head out and do 10 miles or something. Sounds fun...

But as I left my house I started thinking "why not take them on that 21 miler?" I mean.. I did 21 miles the other day on my own and totally didn't die... and even though I knew it would be MUCH harder I just kept telling myself "It's not a race! I can totally do this! I've got all day!" I was feeling incredibly ambitious! ;) About 5 miles into it that saying "overly ambitious" popped into my head and I held onto that thought the rest of the way. How can one be OVERLY ambitious? Screw that... it's impossible. Saying you were overly ambitious is saying that something is impossible. But it's simply not true. One thing I've learned from this journey is that so many of the limits I had were in my head. I learned to really embrace the idea that that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger. So it became my montage as I pulled those boys up hill after hill.. that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger... pain is weakness leaving your body... there is no such thing as being overly ambitious... I will NOT die.. I will get home eventually... AND I DID! ;)

Life happens whether we are ambitious.. or sitting on the couch. Why not push past those false limits? Why not set goals that might seem "overly ambitious" because NOTHING feels as amazing as doing something you never thought you could do... or proving to doubters that it's possible!!

Set HUGE goals... and work your ass off to achieve them! :)

My Favorite Archive

2010-08-31T21:14:00.000-06:00

I wrote this post at the end of the first competition I had ever done! It's probably my favorite. Hope you enjoy this flash from the past! ;)

When I started this competition we were asked to announce our weight loss goals. At the time I said 50 lbs for the comp. It is a five month comp so why not right? I never realized what losing 50 lbs actually meant, what difference it would make on my life SO... here's a countdown of how losing 50 lbs has transformed my world!

10. I SLEEP at night!! I used to snore from all the weight on my stomach. I always felt tired and woke up a million times in the night! NOW... I sleep. I feel rested. LOVE not being tired all the time.

9. My wedding ring and class ring fit!! That hasn't happened in like 10 years!

8. I can wrap a bathroom towel around my body. This might not be something you smaller people can't even comprehend. But the bigger you are, it gets to the point where you can NOT touch the two sides of the towel together, let alone overlap them.

7. No more of those pictures you see and think... I'm not really that big am I? For the last 10 years, I hide from cameras but for whatever reason, I seem to always be in Christmas pics. It's always that crazy side profile and EVERY year I think... Ugh... am I seriously that big? Now I do the opposite. I don't recognize myself in pics.... Can't wait to get to the point that I just look at pics and not worry about my size!

6. New Friends! This competition has been so incredible for me because I have managed to meet a great group of women!! It's been fantastic to do girls nights and have fun with new people. I am so glad that ya'll have put up with me... even with my obsessive nature! ;o)

5. Belts that fit. Well... I never actually wore belts before because I was squeezed so tight into my jeans that there was no way they were going anywhere. Now I use belts and I they actually fit without increasing the amount of fat that hangs out of my jeans. I owned 2 belts before the comp and couldn't wear either of them. It's so fun to watch yourself shrink via the holes in a belt!

4. Goodbye Mushroom Top If you look at my now pics, you can see that I still have a belly roll. I am going to keep working on that but I just want to say a FOREVER FAREWELL to the mushroom top. (Some of you might call it a "muffin top" but umm... for me it was FAR greater than that... thus I call it a mushroom top!) I think that when you get to a certain size you start to REFUSE to buy bigger pants and then the mushroom top starts to spread. Now I don't mind wearing a bigger size to avoid the look... I have NOT eliminated my love handles, but they are getting smaller.

3. Stamina Okay... take it however you want to. I mean it in any way you can imagine. ;o)

2. Self Control While I do feel like I've lost my mind on more than one occasion during this journey, I have learned that I have an amazing amount of self-control. I've always been one of those people who COMPLETELY BELIEVES that there is no limit to what an individual has accomplished. We are the only ones standing in our way! It takes a lot of self-discipline. And while I'm no master, I've come a long way from where I was 5 months ago.

1. FINISH WHAT YOU START! This concept, that I never followed through with any thing is what I committed to at the beginning of the challenge. It was my number one priority, before weight loss or anything else. I just had to prove to myself i could do it and I'm so excited to say that I FINISHED!! I never gave up. I did not let excuses get in the way. I learned so much in this competition about myself. And I'm excited to take on new challenges. Like college courses. :o) I have always known that this was a huge problem for me and I'm SO glad that at least this time, I followed through!

THANKS TO ALL THE GALS IN THIS COMPETITION FOR PUSHING ME, SUPPORTING ME, AND THE OCCASIONAL SMACK TALK. THIS COMPETITION HAS CHANGED ME FOREVER!! THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!

Week 2

2010-08-29T10:10:00.000-06:00

This week was a little insane complete with the placement of braces and a lot of protein shakes. I laughed out loud when I read the suggestions for what to eat after the braces were placed (mashed potatoes and milkshakes!) REALLY???

Brandy was watching my boys when I went to the orthodontist and when I got back she gave me a gift!! It was in a cute bag with scented tissue paper and it was.... UNSWEETENED APPLESAUCE!! And I tell you what it was my savior!

This week has been pretty good on the exercise and weight loss front with a 4 lb loss!! I am assuming that some of that is contributed to last week being that time of the month but I am excited to feel a little safer in my "happy weight zone" again!!

This morning I ventured out on a long bike ride and burned a whopping 1250 calories (according to my heart rate monitor) in 1 hour and 22 minutes of riding! 21 miles on the bike... my butt hurts! ;)

My husbands job seems to be more and more stressful everyday which means life is being hard!! But I'm coping and dealing and doing it without double stuffed oreos! :) Hope you are all doing amazing!

7 days gone!

2010-08-23T09:03:00.000-06:00

This past week has been sort of an emotional roller coaster. Interestingly I was asked by a new friend something along the lines of "but isn't your husband happy that you are doing something you love?" (we were talking about my husbands frustration with being left home so I can workout) to which I responded simply "NO!" I actually felt guilty about this answer as my husband has been willing to let me do things (even though he's not happy about it). Then DH and I were talking the other day about the triathlon and when I told him it was $60 he took all my guilt away with his response: "I love how you can justify blowing money on stupid shit!" And somehow he managed to roll his eyes and gawk at me in such a way that I nearly cried! BUT I did not respond.

Here is my justification for blowing money on "stupid shit".

Reaching a new goal, doing something you've never done, proving to yourself that it's possible, is worth it!!

So I will blow $60 on a triathlon and it will be worth EVERY DAMN PENNY!!!

On the weight loss front I successfully got rid of 1.8 lbs this week. At first I had a hard time with this number but really... if I can lose 1.8 every week for 5 weeks that's 9 lbs!!! I have 4 more weeks before Elise and I weigh in and I'm going to keep up the hard work. The best part of all of this for me has definitely been putting myself back on my priority list. Oddly enough the hardest part has been the conflict this causes in my marriage. BLAH!!

Going for it!!

2010-08-17T20:36:00.000-06:00

So in June I ran the Utah Valley Half Marathon and loved it!! I loved it ENOUGH to make a goal to do the full marathon next year AND qualify for Boston. What I didn't realize is how REALLY attainable that goal was. For whatever reason I thought the qualifying time for Boston was 3:30 but it turns out its 3:40!! This pace in only about 20 seconds below my last half pace so with real hardcore training I could absolutely qualify for Boston next year!! I'm SO SO SO excited!!

BRING ON BOSTON BABY!!

35 days of perfection!!

2010-08-14T18:29:00.000-06:00

Okay.. so.. my inlaws are coming home from the Phillipinnes in September. They've been gone for a year and a half which means... when they left.. I looked like this:

That would be me hiding behind the baby! ;)
We have done a lot of skyping and they have seen plenty of pictures BUT.. nothing is as shocking as reality and so....

I am commited to 35 days of perfection!! We are talking perfect eating, (as in no processed carbs) plenty of water consumption, 5-7 days of exercise AND some serious p90x resistance training. My goal?? Basically I want to look like a rock star! I am not only going to be seeing my inlaws but a lot of extended family that I haven't seen since I lost weight!

Today I made a little wager with my SIL although I think we need to get a little more specific.. regardless... we are in a 5 week competition and it is ON!! Honestly though... I would be happy losing NOTHING as long as my body was rock hard and HOT HOT HOT!!!!

So tomorrow starts the beginning of perfection! I'm thrilled! :) It's also perfect timing as I'm training for a 1/2 triathlon!! YAY YAY YAY!!! (Oh not too mention the whole getting braces in10 days thing!!) Maybe if I get brave I'll put up some "before pics" in the next couple of days!! I KNOW I can do this!! 10 lbs in 5 weeks?? YOU GOT IT!! :)

Life!

2010-08-07T11:23:00.000-06:00

I found out recently that we have a lot of money in an HRA that we really need to use or lose.. which started me on my quest to improve my imperfections. My FIRST attempt was lasik eye surgery. Basically... I've worn glasses since I was like 7 and I am pretty blind. UNFORTUNATELY I don't qualify for lasik. My corneas are too thin for the amount of correction I need!! They Dr. told me to wait for technology to catch up to me... DANGIT!!
So next I hit the dentist hoping they could give me a quick fix/gorgeous smile. 2 different dentists told me to go to an orthodontist and SO..... I'm getting braces on August 25th at the ripe old age of 30. It may sound slightly insane BUT it will not only fix my smile, it will fix the misalignment in my jaw. I still haven't decided if I'm going to do top AND bottom braces or just top but right now.. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to do the top. The bottom won't show in my smile anyway.. and the orthodontist really feels like fixing my top teeth will help bring my jaw forward. I'm sure no one but me cares about any of this but i had to write it down.
Hope you are all doing fantastic!

Exercise and me!

2010-08-04T06:54:00.000-06:00

So working at the gym was an exciting way to get new contacts but made it incredibly hard for me to exercise (or incredibly easy for me to make excuses). While I've always been busy with my children, I've never tried to add work into the mix and while I did a lot of lifting while I was working there.... my cardio was in the toilet. I HATED the cardio machines there and avoided them at all costs. Occasionally I would hit a class and LOVE it but for the most part.. umm... cardio was out the window.
This was also starting to reflect on the scale. I have a "happy weight zone" 120-125 and lately I've been seeing 126-128. I've had this weird struggle going on with this. Like I don't want to seem like one of those pyscho skinny bitches saying "UGH! I HAVE GOT TO LOSE 5 LBS!! " But the truth is... when you start to get past your happy weight zone and you let a couple lbs go and then a couple more.. pretty soon you've got 20 lbs to lose etc... I feel so dumb even saying it but seriously... I need to lose a few lbs so I can stay in my happy zone.
In comes cardio. I LOVE cardio. I had forgotten that for a while. I was thrilled to go back to spin classes at my little gym (I had not been because they were on nights I had to be at the other place!) So... 2 nights a week I spin and at least 3 additional days a week my ass will be running country roads! Last night I did about 3.5 miles with a friend and LOVED it (although my eyes are swollen from the hay).
I just went to register for the warrior dash and my heart is now in my chest. Somehow.. since the last time I checked... the price has more than doubled. I can't even imagine NOT doing it.. but I cannot justify spending $75 for it either. BAH!! I feel like such a jackass.. I just totally let life run away from me!!
I think I'm going to vomit.

Ditto

2010-07-20T16:42:00.000-06:00

Just want to say DITTO!!!

Blah... I swear to God I'm in self destruct mode!

Extreme?

2010-07-14T19:14:00.001-06:00

So.. I met this guy in the park the other day.. well actually he was invited there by Brandy and I think he came with pinning me down in mind. That's right.. multi-level marketing. Every multi level marketer in the universe tries to get their claws into me.. even today at the DMV... random strangers couldn't help but give us a sample of their product. I'm sure this has to do with the fact that my husband and I make a fantastic comedic team in odd public places. ANYWAY... this guy sells USANA. Apparently they are fantastic nutritional supplements... blah blah blah.

So why the blog entry?

We were talking about nutrition and I was talking about clean eating, healthy choices etc.. and he says to me: "It sounds like the diet and lifestyle that you promote might come across as extreme to some people. Usana has this "renew" plan that is a much easier transition... you know.. you eat NOTHING but our shakes and bars for a week to detox."

WTF?!?!? This is the thing.. he was totally right. It's way easier to sell people on starving themselves for a week then to sell them on eating plenty of fruits and veggies and giving up sugar. Go figure!

If you are interested I'm going to start selling meal replacement shakes...

NOT!!!

Patience

2010-07-13T09:42:00.000-06:00

So.. I've come to realize lately how our societies NEED to have everything NOW has dramatically increased our nations obesity rates. Seriously.. fast food?!? What could be better... I'm hungry!! Feed me now! I'm not going to lie.. if there was a drive thru window that served squash, with chicken.. seasoned to perfection and sauteed with just a tiny bit of PURE VIRGIN OLIVE OIL... I would SO live there.

But as much as fast food is contributing to obesity with its GINORMOUS portion sizes and huge amounts of processed carbs and saturated fat... another huge culprit lurks in the shape of FAD DIETING!!
So here's the deal. We want to lose weight and we want to lose it NOW!!! When our new healthy lifestyle doesn't turn over big numbers we want to throw it out the window and take diet pills that make us poop our pants. It's ridiculous/frustrating and INCREDIBLY unhealthy.. but we do it anyway.. because WE NEED IT NOW!! The sad thing is.. when the fad dieting turns out to be too hard.. or too expensive.. or we've pooped our pants one too many times... WE GIVE UP!! A year later we decide to try again. This time we are the same size, maybe even a little heavier and once again our INSTANT weight loss scheme proves to be too difficult and we prove to ourselves that weight loss is IMPOSSIBLE.

So here's my point. You know that year... that went by between trying one fad diet and another... in that year, had healthy living been adopted... YOU COULD HAVE REACHED YOUR GOAL!! I mean honestly, sticking to healthy eating for an entire year is going to yield you BIG numbers. SOOO.. even though taking an approach which requires you to make permanent changes to your lifestyle means you must be patient.. it also means that you are changing the way you live. YOU STOP DIETING... and you start living. :)

Moments to remember!

2010-07-09T16:14:00.001-06:00

Remember back in February 09 when I posted this

(click on the link to read the entry)!

Anyway.. I was thrilled to actually BE the weight on my drivers license!! 175 lbs.

Well.. I have yet to get a new drivers license.. I know lame right? So the other night I got all dolled up for a hot date with my main squeeze and went out with my bro and SIL. After hitting a yummy mexican joint we headed off to walk up and down old town Fort Collins and decided to stop off in a couple of bars just to see what they were. The first bar we went to the bouncer was an AHOLE!! He actually commented on the fact that he was an ahole... the next bar we went to the bouncer looked at my I.D. He was READING numbers etc... he looked at me and actually looked me UP AND DOWN!! I was a little embarrassed (and tipsy) so I said something like, "I lost 80 lbs last year and haven't got a new license!" He looks at me and says, "You look @#$ing AMAZING!" Um... Thank you bouncer at Octane 100!! You made my night! ;)

30.... OY!

2010-07-07T14:46:00.000-06:00

So.. yesterday I celebrated my 30th birthday. I've been having a really hard time with the idea of being 30. I'm not sure WHY!! I mean seriously??? 30 is like the peak for women! Go to any running event and the female winners are always 30 something. I've even heard women peak sexually in their 30's! This is supposed to be like the best decade of my life... but.. Jimminy Cricket... 30???

So.. maybe I had a little freak out BUT... I decided to get a nose piercing the other day! It wasn't a spur of the moment decision.. but I wonder if it's some sort of "oh geeze I'm 30" crisis?

Regardless of whether or not I look like an idiot... I kind of like it! ;)

Work has been interesting! I've been meeting a lot of people and trying to get the word out there that I exhist, that I get it, and that I sincerely want to help people find success in adopting a healthy lifestyle!! I had my first team weight loss small group training class yesterday and I actually had one person show up!! I'm so excited to see what happens tomorrow with the class. If I can get 4 people there each time, it makes it "financially" worth it.. but honestly.. if I get one person there.. it's still one person I'm helping and.. that's kind of why I'm doing this right? I really do LOVE meeting people who are genuinely interested in not just weight loss.. but weight loss for LIFE!! The nice thing about being in a health club is that the people there GET that exercise and nutrition are important... anyway.. it's fantastic and slowly but surely, I'm going to be a HUGE success!!

The new comp started and it's much smaller than the last one! This is FANTASTIC because we can have a closer knit group of people.. but kind of a bummer because we just don't have the ZILLIONS of dollars we have when we have a ton of people. I actually threw around the idea of joining just to be the 20th person but honestly, the batteries in my scale are dead and I keep forgetting to go to walmart. I weighed myself yesterday... I'm right around 125. I'm good with that! :)

I'm excited to see this group of people kick some booty! I LOVE helping people succeed. Good luck to everyone this time around.

P.S.

If you are a blog stalker who maybe has questions you would love me to answer, feel free to email me @ kariscomp@yahoo.com OR find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/karilynn.adams . Till next time! :)

Half Marathon

2010-06-27T09:52:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted about my second half marathon cause I kept hoping Mindy would be posting pics that I could steal. Alas.. she hasn't blogged in 3 weeks and I want to get this blogged so I don't lose it!

On Saturday June 12th I ran my second half marathon. I was so excited to run it with my BFF Mindy, my SIL (also a BFF), my brother, my aunt and my uncle!! I was not so excited about the prospect of rain or being at the pick up point at 4 o'clock in the morning! OY!!

The half marathon course was gorgeous and my official time was 2:00:48. (2 hours and 48 seconds!) I am so excited but also frustrated with this time because.. I wasted 4 whole minutes waiting to go and eventually going POTTY!! I had no choice.. it was stop... or face my butt exploding! SO SO SO NOT COOL!! (AND WAY TMI!)

I did stop my gps/timer when I stopped to potty and my time on my gps was 1:56:07 so of course I like that much better. REGARDLESS.. my last half was done in 2:15 ish... so of course I have got to be thrilled with this time.

I'm excited to do a few more events this fall before the weather goes to pot. I'll be doing a 10k on the 17th of July, and I'll have a weekend of events in August. Oyster Race Saturday, Warrior Dash Sunday. I am also doing the bareable adventure race in September and then I'm going to do the Boyd Lake State Park Half Marathon in November!! I've decided after running the last half that I want to do that event again next year but next year, I want to run the whole marathon AND I want to run it in Boston qualifying time.. which means I have to cut another 50 seconds off my 1/2 marathon pace.

I just wanted to write this all down... so I can never forget how far I've come, or where I'm headed next! :)
Looking forward to the next comp starting July 1st!! WAHOO!!

I'm alive!!

2010-06-02T07:07:00.000-06:00

Wow!! You know you've ignored your blog when you go to type in the url and it doesn't automatically pop up!! So many small successes are happening but they all seem to be one liners... so here are just a few of the new/exciting things going on in my world!

I climbed this crazy course on the rock wall where you have to go over this ledge! It rocked! I felt FANTASTIC... and I looked right at my husband when I succeeded and said "That's HOT, don't lie.. I'm frickin' amazing!" To which he did not respond.

I went on a bike ride and frisbee golfing adventure with my family and in the end we ended up on this dirt bike/ramp course thing... you know.. going up and down hills and bumps and around curves and all that stuff. I LOVED IT!! I actually had a couple of moments when I just couldn't believe that I was doing it! There I was, this 200 lb woman... except I'm NOT! NOT ANYMORE!! I love moments when I am reminded of how far I've come and how much LIFE I've taken back! LOVE IT!!

I've started my new career as a personal trainer. Today is my first official session with my first official client... SO EXCITED!! It feels so slow to start but this week I finally have my picture on the wall, my business cards next to everyone elses, my hours in the studio and an overall excitement for DOING IT!! I love this career path. I chose it to inspire/educate and help others and finally... I've got the opportunity! YAY!!

I still struggle. I struggle mostly with personal relationships with my hubby. I still feel very unsupported most of the time but I am learning that it's really all on me. I need to stop backing down and start asking for things I want even if I'm sure it's going to induce a tantrum. Life is too short to live in fear of getting "that look". I'm not over it.. but I'm getting there.

The competition ends on Saturday HOLY COW!! I'm shocked/amazed/thrilled at the huge progress that has happened in so many lives. I've been asked repeatedly to do another one and I've decided to go for it but this time.. I'm going to have HELP!! YAY!! I have a gal to help with articals to keep the comp blog fresh and a gal to just keep me on task and do whatever I need! I'm excited to take a little break and start the next comp on July 1st. I also think that 4 months is long enough so it will go till November 1st. (Talk about incentive to not indulge on halloween!) I have decided to make the buy in slightly MORE $50 and to limit the entries to a max of 30 people.

So sorry this blogging has fallen on the backburner. I am recommited to getting back on it! I LOVE all of you... keep working hard at reaching those goals. And remember "TRYING" is planning to fail! Stop trying and do it!

La-di-da

2010-05-13T05:47:00.000-06:00

This is my first entry on the weightlosswars website. What do you think?

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. -Jim Ryun

Weight loss is a challenge. Really, I am the first to admit that it's NOT easy. I reflect on my own "weight loss journey" as fighting for my life.

At 28 years old I found myself tipping the scales at just over 200 lbs on my 5'2" body. Was I pleased? Absolutely not!! Did I know what the hell I was going to do about it? Of course not. I just wanted to be that thin person I knew must be in there somewhere.

I had spent my entire adult life being overweight. I gained my weight during my 4 pregnancies and never lost anything after my kiddos were born. I also had spent my entire adult life in a Have-Be-Do cycle. If I HAD the time/money/energy/gym membership/personal trainer/personal chef [insert your excuse here] etc etc etc.... I would BE able to do what it takes to lose weight and I would finally DO it!! It wasn't until I reversed the cycle that I found my success. I resulted to BE that thin person... to eat like a thin person, exercise like a thin person, value myself as a thin person and THEN... I found success. BE, DO, HAVE! So much better! :)

Anyway.. back to motivation and habit. Motivation... we all have it at some point. Maybe it's what brought you to this site. We all thrive on motivation. We cling on and pray it sticks around a while. Motivation truly is what gets us started OVER and OVER again. But I think we give more credit to motivation then necessary.

Weight loss is fairly simple. Regardless of what approach you take it's all about replacing bad habits with good ones. Habits are what control our lives. If you are in the habit of doing the dishes every evening after dinner, 9 times out of 10 you are going to do just that. Occasionally you will feel "unmotivated" and let them sit for an hour or two.. maybe even over night but bottom line... those dishes will wait and eventually you will have to face them! :)

So here you are at the beginning/middle/end of a journey to create new habits and YOU are the only person standing in your way. Maybe you are TERRIFIED. Maybe you are excited. Maybe you have no idea what the hell you are going to do! ;) Change your focus. This journey is NOT about a number on a scale. This journey is about gaining health. This journey is about developing NEW habits that will give you success. This moment defines where you go from here. Be it!! Do it!! and Have success!

The bright side of life! :)

2010-05-04T07:41:00.003-06:00

I got the job. I am OFFICIALLY a "Fitness Specialist" at the North Club for Miramont! Tomorrow is my orientation with my supervisor.. then an orientation again on Thursday for the club as a whole. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some sort of "training" schedule...
SO EXCITED!

I lied

2010-04-28T07:08:00.002-06:00

I lied when I said I "don't care if you think I'm selfish." It was a fib...

I can't get over it. I keep thinking that I must somehow be unbalanced... that I need to figure this out.... but after 2 weeks of distress I've discovered something.

I can't give to anyone when I don't give to myself.

I have spent 2 weeks being self-loathing and depressed. I've gone out of my way to NOT go out of my way for me. I've skipped the gym.. I've skipped the whole foods store... I've tried to make due with what my husband and children INSIST on making due with and as a result: I HATE LIFE! I hate everything about it. I haven't upped my game and become more giving to you or anyone else because I am NOT CAPABLE OF IT in this state of mind.

I NEED to be selfish. I HAVE to make time for me. I HAVE to feed me right in order to be happy, healthy, outgoing, kind, energetic, beautiful, eager to serve my kiddos, eager to serve you.

You have to choose... do you want depressed, self-loathing, lazy me OR do you want happy, energetic, selfish me? There is no balance.. it's one or the other... I am an extreme woman... there is no in between.

Life Happens

2010-04-23T07:30:00.002-06:00

Life has been beyond stressful for me. My weight training class ended and my hubby has taken my obligation free evenings as an opportunity for him to get caught up at work. I do not blame him for this... I want him to be less stressed.. but oh me oh my... being home alone with my kids for 12-13 hours a day (and NOT having time away in the evenings) takes its toll on me. NOT TO MENTION.. he is salaried so I can't even use retail therapy as a stress reliever! Instead.. I sit at home and play on facebook, and think about everything I want to do and be and see and occasionally... cry.
Exercise makes me a better me. I am a better everything to everyone when I take a little time for myself. It is EXHAUSTING to try to be everything to everyone all the time.. when there is no time for me. I'm tired. I would love to get out this weekend... but the forecast is WET!! I will most definitely be doing 8 miles on the treadmill on Sunday so there is my bonus but SHEESH! I need a day at the spa! Anyone want to pay? I'm good company! ;o)
PS. I'm still going to the gym at 5 am... but when you go that early you feel lazy the whole rest of the day. UGH!

Hard work

2010-04-20T08:45:00.002-06:00

Just wanted everyone to know that I've gone through the interview process to start training at a club in Fort Collins. HOPEFULLY I'll be hearing from someone in the next couple of days! WISH ME LUCK! :)

Selfish?

2010-04-19T06:30:00.002-06:00

This weekend was ROUGH... not because of anything I did... but because someone very close to me has decided that I need to know how incredibly selfish I am.

Why am I selfish?

Because I go to the gym in the mornings and I cook meals that are healthy even if people don't like them.

Being selfish....

that used to be one of my excuses.

I couldn't take "time away from my family" to get to the gym.

I couldn't buy produce that was just going to go to waste.

I refused to leave my husband home with the kiddos... to avoid him getting frustrated...

INSTEAD.. I sat around my house and got fatter and fatter... until I was 200 lbs and couldn't take it anymore.

Now... I'm healthy, thin and active and apparently SELFISH!! Here's the difference though.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK I'M SELFISH!!!!

I don't do this for me.. I do this to be around for my family. To be an active part of my childrens lives. To be a happier/healthier wife to my hubby. I feed them healthier food because I LOVE THEM!! Someday maybe they will see it... for now... I'll just be selfish... because honestly... all I want is to keep them as long as possible and I suppose... THAT is selfish!

Inspiration?

2010-04-14T07:07:00.002-06:00

Archives... one year ago!
Kids say the darndest things
So the other day I was talking to my boys about running... we are planning on running a 5k as a family. I must have mentioned that it's hard and sometimes their bodies will hurt when my 7 year old looked at me and said "Mom, pain is just weakness leaving your body!" (This, I'm sure, is something he's been taught in gymnastics!) So.. because I am an "over-thinker" I was up most of the night thinking about this statement!

I think that through all of life's struggles, it takes the pain to make us stronger people. I also think of those times when I'm at the gym and it hurts. I know that when I push past the pain, I'm building endurance, and when I let it get the better of me, I feel like I've failed. So the next time I'm on the treadmill and I think maybe I'm pushing myself too hard, or I'm tempted to change my goal by 1/2 a mile, I'm going to imagine the weakness drifting away! Because my little guy was absolutely right and in the end, all of the pain is worth the strength you gain when you push through it. :o)

2010-04-13T06:34:00.002-06:00

I haven't blogged in over a week.. pretty insane for me BUT.. I'm in that blogging funk again.. where I feel like I've lost my relatability factor. Like I've been kicked out of the fat girl club and now no matter what I say... people are just going to roll their eyes and tell their computer screen that I couldn't possibly know how they feel! It's been a week. Not good.. not horrible.. just keepin' on.

Eating to live... or eating to die?

2010-04-05T06:09:00.002-06:00

I've noticed a trend with me. For the most part I LOVE LIFE!! I'm a pretty positive, happy, person and I have found a ton of confidence and LOVE for everyday life especially as I have continued to reach goals. I believe that life is beautiful... and most days I want to live till I'm 383. I eat right because I know that what I put into my mouth directly effects how long I will be around for my husband, children and family. I EAT TO LIVE!! Because I LOVE LIVING!!!

So.. this weekend I realized something. I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL EATER... some days though... when I feel like I'm being beaten down OVER AND OVER... when I feel like my efforts are in disarray.. that my balance is off... that I'm under appreciated and over criticised... when I'm PMSy, bloated and exhausted...those days.. when I feel like life is hard... I eat to die.

I don't eat sugar to "treat myself" I eat it to PUNISH MYSELF! I don't over-indulge or go crazy on portion sizes because I have no self control... I do it because I am intentionally trying to take minutes off my life. I surely don't want to die... but in moments of struggle... I surrender myself to my own sabotage and EAT like it doesn't matter. Like LIFE doesn't matter. Like being around for my kids and grandkids and 383rd birthday DOESN'T MATTER!!

It's been a rough weekend. And there has been plenty of available bad choices. I ate like I didn't care if there was no tomorrow... and today, I'm switching gears.

TODAY.. my punishment is EXERCISE!! Today.. I'm going to get to the gym (again) and kick my own ass. Today I'm reclaiming those minutes I ate away over the weekend.

HEAVEN HELP ME MAKE TODAY A GOOD DAY!

Things that make you go hmmm....

2010-04-04T07:42:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I went and got my body fat tested using the "gold" standard of body fat composition testing.. AKA Hydrostatic body fat testing. Basically you sit in a scale in water, (This one was like a big diaper) and you blow ALL of the air out of your lungs. Once your lungs are empty, you emerge your entire body under water. The idea is that the only 2 elements lighter than water are FAT and AIR... so... the scale weighs EVERYTHING BUT those two elements. Then they take your current rate and do some math to determine your Body Fat Percentage! This is supposed to be pretty fool proof for a few reasons...

1. It does not require a person to be dehydrated/starved as the weight of food particles does not count against you.

2. It is not positional like BEI units (hand held or scales) which can show a completely different reading based on where you are standing on the scale or at what height you are holding the handheld device.

HOWEVER... I did notice a few things. The scale jumps around and some dude has to attempt to determine what it actually is reading (it's like a food scale in the produce aisle).

Okay.. so they do it and they write your stuff down and you have to call later.. when they are done doing all the weighing to get your results.

I called like 2 minutes after they said I can call and got my result. I was CONFUSED... really? Hmm.. okay.. thanks. Then I hung up the phone and thought about it some more. I thought about the girl who went in the water after me and thought... hmm.. maybe they gave me HER RESULT!

So.. I picked up the phone and called them AGAIN! I got a different guy and asked him if he could double check. He sort of chuckled at me and went to his list then said, "KARI ADAMS.....

17.76%!!!!!!!!"

Holy Toledo Batman! I am AT MY GOAL!!

LOVE IT!!

P.S. I'm still not completely convinced that this result is right.. that buff girl behind me could easily have pulled this number BUT... my favorite Lady LISA says she absolutely believes if from looking at me... I will do it again next month and see what happens!

I love/hate to love hate you!

2010-03-30T20:19:00.002-06:00

So... I've been doing this class with this trainer and I really had no idea what to expect when I paid the money for it. Basically.. we do the same thing every time we go. Kind of frustrating. Like.. I paid a lot of money to continue doing the same thing. Then today she told me I'm doing everything wrong.. which is fine.. I would like to do it right.. but we are on the 4th week doing the same stuff and she just mentioned it. I sort of feel picked on! (She only pointed out one thing I'm doing wrong which I was doing wrong because of the way she was describing it. ) She pointed out that my chest is stronger than my back. Yeah! I got that! THANKS!
I did push myself alot in the class and I ran home after cause I had to drop myself off after soccer practice. Anyway.. I've been really frustrated lately with my workouts and diet. Like I don't know if I'm doing too much or not enough and I just want to feel good with where I'm at.
BLAH!

Love this ARTICLE!!

2010-03-29T12:23:00.001-06:00

Check out Moi's blog entry today! It is AMAZING! :)

Food!

2010-03-28T18:43:00.003-06:00

Weekends are hard. Probably because my hubby hates being home so we spend way too much time out and about and EATING out and about. Today I went out on a limb and ordered something with a [wheat] bun (normally I would omit the bun!) and when it came out it had MAYO on it! I went to bring it back and my husband got all annoyed with me... like one blob of mayo isn't gonna kill ya. So I ate that too. Then I got home and figured "what the hell... why not eat this.. and that.. and this... and that.." now I totally understand why people are bulimic. I would LOVE to puke my brains out right now. I feel like crap.

Food is fuel... not an antidepressant. UGH!

My Butt Injury

2010-03-25T08:19:00.002-06:00

So.. I've been recovering from a butt injury ever since I went trampolining with my sisters! At one point when I went to sit I slipped and hit my coccyx on the edge of a couple of trampolines. Anyway... it has been sore since that day... about 1.5 weeks now. It hasn't stopped me... but it's pretty damn funny when I "forget" and go to do something without thinking about it. WOWZA! People think I just randomly like to say potty words when I sit down. BWAH HA HA!

As for exercise and food and weight loss? Yesterday I had a different kind of kick in the ass when I went to weigh in at the gym for that body fat percentage test. Basically... it said I had no change... which is pretty frustrating, especially because I CAN SEE HUGE CHANGES IN MY BODY!! The scale also said I had gained but I KNOW I have lost... like.. my scale at home said I weighed MORE than their scale said I did at the beginning of the comp but yesterday my scale was 3 lbs less than their scale! WTH?!?!? I had to find comfort in the truth... that the scale they use to determine BF% is NOT a definite and fairly inaccurate [basically those types of mechanisms are incredibly finicky.. the difference could be where you are standing on the scale... plus it took her like 4 times attempting to make it work before I could even stand on the stupid thing!]. I scheduled an appointment for a hydrostatic body fat test next Saturday... and I can't RUN from those results!

The most frustrating thing about the weigh in yesterday was the way the trainer that weighed me in approached my results. Basically she told me that I MUST NOT BE EATING ENOUGH! REALLY?!?! She acted like I'm incredibly active and should eat more but then last night at nutrition and again today at SPINN she kept going on and on about how many people were complaining and that none of them were working hard enough to complain and that you get the results you put in and I'm like... REALLY?!??! I'm at the gym every damn day... she just kept giving me the impression that she thinks I don't work hard in the same 24 hours that she said I am incredibly active. I'M STUMPED!

On a lighter note I decided to see where I'm at! I made a chart of my prescheduled workouts for the next month... This week I'm going to track all of my calories AND wear my heartrate monitor for ALL of my workouts to see exactly how many additional calories I'm burning on any given day. I'm going to revamp my food and try a zig-zag approach to eating. (Basically I'm going to increase my calories on days I burn a TON!) I also am going to up my protein intake. I know I need to do some serious strength training but really have nowhere to put it this month.

Bottom line.. I'm VERY BUTT HURT!! Today is a new day and I am more than prepared to CONTINUE TO BRING IT!!

Just a thought.

2010-03-20T09:17:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about why so many people who lose weight gain it all back. Here is what I came up with.

Too many of us approach weight loss as making temporary changes in order to produce permanent results. Unfortunately this is not the case.

Temporary changes yield temporary results.

If you want results that last, you must change your habits indefinitely. Only permanent changes will yield permanent results.

I'm official!

2010-03-17T19:36:00.000-06:00

Today I passed my Certified Personal Trainer test! I'm official!! NOW WHAT?!? ;o)

Back from good times!

2010-03-16T19:03:00.003-06:00

I just got home after spending 4 days in Utah. It was so fun to be with my family and I even got away with friends one night. It wasn't really challenging to make good food choices, I just had to make VERY REAL CHOICES!! I had to create good options cause they weren't just automatically there.

I had an opportunity to go on a girls night with my sisters and we ended up going to this HUGE trampoline place. Talk about a fantastic workout and a TON of fun! We worked really hard to get pics of us in the air... so so fun!!!

The girls night with friends was definitely fun! This is me with Damon before we went out.. can't you tell he is totally my kiddo?

This is my girls night outfit! Kind of fun stuff!!
So we went out to dinner at a chinese place and I totally embarrassed the girls I was with when I insisted on finding out what the crap I was eating. There were these white noodle things under my chicken and I was umm... not PLEASED! I didn't realize that my chicken wrap was goign to come out with deep fried, puffed up rice! UGH! I had to try to eat around the noodles and then the gals insisted we go to a new DESSERT BAR called "The Chocolate"!! The CHOCOLATE!?!? REALLY?!?!? I actually had to deal with a total social dilemna there. I just didn't know if PASSING on the dessert was really a choice I needed to make. Like was I isolating myself by not just having fun and giving myself a break?!!? As I'm sitting there contemplating if I really am sick in the head for not getting a 600 calorie piece of simple carb/fat packed deliciousness... in walks Tyson from the reality TV show, Survivor. I happen to be a HUGE Survivor fan and although Tyson isn't like a "fan favorite" he is from Utah. So... being from Utah you cheer for your home crowd. I've always enjoyed his crazy antics and was excited to see him back on this all star season! ANYWAY!! It was a fantastic distraction. I stopped focusing on the chocolate drizzled cheesecake and started trying to figure out if it would be "appropriate" to ask to take a pic with him cause HELLO... I HAD TO GET IT FOR MY BLOG!! I didn't really want to bug him while he was out with his friends BUT.. my friend is pretty fearless and got me this great pic opportunity!!

Turns out he's my friends cousin... the thought that he's just Brooke's cousin makes me think hmm... I SHOULD TOTALLY BE ON SURVIVOR!! Maybe that will be my next fun task to take on!!!
I also got an opportunity to workout with Lisa while I was there! I LOVE HER GUTS!! It was awesome, butt kickin' fun times!
Anyway... I'm excited to be home and able to get back on MY track! Hope you guys are doing fantastic! :o)

Just sayin' ;o)

2010-03-11T06:56:00.005-07:00

In case you were wondering... my last post is sort of meant to MESS with DEBBIE! ;o) BUT.. since I realize that some people might think I'm insane I just want to clarify. I was not disappointed about the chip.. not a big deal. BUT... the fact that I put it in my mouth without thinking about it is a problem. I want each food choice, GOOD OR BAD, to be a conscious decision!!! I agree that one bite won't make me gain weight BUT one bite generally leads to more bites. I still maintain that the "one bite won't hurt" mentality is detrimental in weight loss! Please oh please... don't buy into it.

One accidental bite is an opportunity to learn.

One intentional bite is an excuse to eat badly because its "just one bite."

Yesterday was NEAR PERFECT

2010-03-10T07:24:00.004-07:00

I only made one mistake. 1/2 of a french onion sunchip.. once it was in my mouth I was like DANGIT!! I quickly gave the rest of it to my child... but I totally didn't rush to the sink to spit it out! ;o) I chewed and swallowed and hmm.. that was so salty and delicious! Today... no sunchips for me! ;)

20 ozs water

BF:

1/3 cup oats, 1/3 cup ff cottage cheese, 3 egg whites, 1/2 t smart balace (I LOVE THESE PANCAKES!!)

2 cups coffee

1.5T Sugar free french vanilla creamer

1cutie

Snack:

Protein Bar

1/2 of one french onion sunchip

20 0zs water

Lunch:

3 cups lettuce, 3 ozs chicken, 2T light sour cream, 1/8 cup shredded colby jack cheese, 1/4 avocado

20 0zs water

Snack:

4 ozs chicken,

4 ozs granny smith, no sugar added applesause

1 T mustard

1 cutie

2 cups coffee

1.5 T sugar free french vanilla creamer

(This snack was inspired by Debbie!)

20 ozs water

Dinner:

1.5 cups spaghetti squash with

1/4 cup spaghetti sauce, 2 ozs ground turkey, 3 mushrooms, 1 T light sour cream

20 ozs water

Exercise:

45 minute spinn class

45 minute weight training class

Weigh in for my kick your butt challenge!

2010-03-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

So this morning this is my weigh in.. I'm not disappointed but realize that this is LESS than my ticker says. In order to reach my ticker goal I will have to lose 5.74%. So all you have to do is lose 5.75% and you have braggin' rights forever! ;o)

Kat and Em.. if you are in... for pride and glory and bragging rights.. you can send a pic of your weight with the date and a fork to kariscomp@yahoo.com. There is no money involved.. just a good ass-kickin' month! For those of you in the comp who have decided to take on this (near impossible ;o) ) endeavor. We can use your March 5th weight and go from there!) April 5th.. we'll see if I've done it! AND if YOU'VE BEAT ME!!

Household item!

2010-03-09T05:11:00.003-07:00

Hey.. I haven't weighed in in a while! I NEED a household item!

ANYONE comment and leave a household item for me to use so I can post my weight for you guys! I know there has GOT to be a way to authenticate it!

THANKS! :o)

P.S. perfect day #1 looked like this:

20 ozs water

BF: 3 egg whites, 1/3 cup FF cottage cheese, 1/3 cup oats (all made into pancakes)

1 cutie

1/2 teaspoon smart balance butter stuff

2 cups coffee with 1.5 T creamer

Mid morning Meal:

I cutie

6 ozs sirloin, 3 mushrooms, 1/2 t smart balance

20 ozs of water

Lunch: 1.5 cups lettuce, 1.5 cups spinach, 4 ozs chicken, 1/8 cup shredded colby jack cheese, 1/4 avocado, 2 T light sour cream (this would be a salad)

1 cutie

20 0zs of water

Mid afternoon meal: Protein bar (20 G protein, 200 calories)

20 ozs of water

2 cups coffee

1.5 T creamer

Dinner: 1 zuchinni, 2 mushrooms, 4 ozs chicken, 1 t olive oil

15 ozs water

Plus an hour at the gym in the a.m. which included a 25 minute 5k! ;o)

Debbie mentioned something about beating me at my own game. Why not just play MY GAME?!?

How'd she do that?

2010-03-08T06:36:00.002-07:00

Here are the rules I've been following to lose weight. These are NOT a diet.. they are my life and they work! ;o) I occasionally send this to friends so if it seems worded funny, that would be why! Most of the time.. people don't want to listen.. or think they have it all figured out. Either way, I thought the only way to level the playing field for you poor souls who have accepted the challenge is to SHOW YOU WHAT I'M DOING!!
#1- Drink 16 ozs of water first thing in the morning.. before ANYTHING else!
#2- Eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up.. STICK TO unprocessed carbs (like oatmeal, WHOLE GRAINS, and combine it with a protein... egg whites are fantastic.. low in calories.. high in protein. ALSO drink 8 ozs of water with your breakfast.
#3- Eat 2-3 hours after breakfast. Same rules apply. Always combine a protein with your carbs so a snack could be an apple with [natural] peanut butter... I know there are calories in peanut butter but it's a great snack and it's actually good for you!!
#4- Lunch!!! WHOLE GRAINS!! NO LUNCH MEAT!! A chicken salad is great for lunch. Try it with balsamic vinegar dressing or splurge and do "light" sour cream. Fewer calories then dressing and it makes me feel like I'm eating Mexican food... which I LOVE!! PS WATER!!!!!
#5- Afternoon snack! This is a good time to do some sort of protein shake.. with 15 [unsalted as raw as you can get] almonds.

#6- Dinner! For the most part you can eat what your family is eating. AVOID overindulging at dinner... your goal is to eat 200-300 calories every meal so portion sizes are uber important. ALSO.. stick to WHOLE GRAINS!! If you are doing rice.. make sure it's brown.. tortillas and pastas should be whole grain... you can also substitute most noodles with squash! LOVE IT! WATER!!
#7 - DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!! AND a decent amount of protein as well... at least 60-80 grams!! ALSO... if you can AVOID processed carbs altogether you will be doing yourself a huge favor! I.E. NO SUGAR... and honestly, if you want to do breads, tortillas, pastas, your best option is to MAKE THEM YOURSELF. A great bread alternative is Ezekiel bread which can be found in the refrigerated section of any whole foods store.

#8 - Substitute meats for a LEAN option... ground anything should be turkey... Beef should be lean cuts... so no ribeyes, forget about breakfast meats... turkey is a better option but ALL breakfast meats are just a collage of preservatives, FAT and sodium... both are horrible for you.. (The day I gave up turkey bacon was a little traumatic... but I'm over it now!)

This is what I will be doing. This is what helped me lose those last 20 lbs. This is a way of life I am happy to live! :o)

On that note: I was IMing Amanda the other day and we were talking about the "one bite won't hurt" theory. I also noticed a few people who call me obsessive. ;o) Amanda has also noticed this. HERE'S THE DEAL... I'm not going to tell you one bite won't hurt because I KNOW that one bite can change everything. It's not just that one bite tends to lead to ten.. but one bite changes your focus. It changes the way you think about you.

It takes you one bite FURTHER AWAY FROM YOUR GOAL!

If you were a recovering alcholic I would NOT tell you that one drink won't hurt. I don't think that any of us are much different than this. We are addicted to putting crap in our bodies that is BAD FOR OUR BODIES!! We need to overcome this addiction. We need to stop feeding our addiction (literally). Sure you might relapse. But you need to learn from that moment and get back on the wagon. So.. if you really want to kick ass, you've got to change your focus. Stop feeding your addiction. Stop being a slave to your body. Take control! You are the only person standing in your way.

That damn ticker!

2010-03-07T19:02:00.004-07:00

At the top of my blog is a ticker... a ticker that says I'm 7.6 lbs away from my goal. The ticker doesn't bother me on most days but today... it's haunting me. You see.. the ticker is a goal I set back when I had a "NUMBER" goal and since then I've changed my goal BUT I have no way of really knowing how I'm doing when it comes to my body fat %. ANYWAY.. that goal represents being in the 1-teens... something I HAVE NOT BEEN since I was in high school.

I haven't really pushed the "losing weight thing" since this new competition started BECAUSE.. I didn't pay into it and I'm NOT competing. Hmm.. this makes me sad! I love competition. I love pushing myself if for nothing else than to push others. SO...

WHO WANTS A COMPETITION?!!?

I'm going to warn you that I am a brutal competitor and can surely kick your trash! ;o) Really.. if I can reach this number goal this month it will be more than 6% lost. But... I know it will be funner to do it if I feel like I'm PUSHING YOU to work harder. So... first off.. I'm calling out MINDY! That's right Mindy... this is for you! I DARE YOU TO BEAT ME THIS MONTH!!! (And I know you can do it!) BRANDY! Umm, yesssss, you! I KNOW that you can beat me and I am totally willing to help you any way I can... including by being that "stupid skinny b who is NOT going to beat you!!". DEBBIE!! You know you've wanted to kick my butt in more ways then one since you first started reading my blog. I know you've got it in you so BRING IT!! BEAT ME!! I know you can... but do you know you can?!?! And last but not least... I'm calling out my little bro JUSTIN!!! Why Justin? Because I love you and I would love to kick your butt! That just sounds fun!

And of course... I invite anyone to take the challenge. I'm happy to make a side wager if that would be additional incentive! ANYONE?!!? If you have been called out.. please comment and let me know if "it's on" if you haven't been called out but want to kick my ass... BRING IT!! (and comment!)

If you think I'm slightly insane.. you aren't alone! I get that A LOT!!

I'm so excited to have a little competition!! WHO'S IN?!?!?

Body Image

2010-03-04T21:29:00.002-07:00

I know no one wants to hear this.... but it's the truth.

The scale is staying the same.. but I am noticing BAD changes in my body.

My boobs seem to be slightly bigger.. this scares me. I start to worry that I am increasing fatty tissue on my body (because boobs are fat!). I also feel like my middle is growing.. but once again the scale is always between 120 and 124. I was getting ready to go out with a friend yesterday and put on an outfit I would normally think I look cute in. I looked in the mirror and thought, "GEEZE I look wide in this!" Then I got mad at myself. I actually said out loud, "WHY!?? Why can't I see myself as thin. I'm wearing size 3 freakin' jeans.. I know I'm not fat!!"

It's so frustrating. I just want to look at my body and be proud of it. Instead I'm always over analyzing and stressing over small changes.

I swear it is the nature of women to never be happy with their bodies. It starts when we are small and we never get over it. My name is Karilynn and I'm an obsessive, over analyzer. First step is admitting you have a problem right?

I'm a CHEATER!!

2010-03-03T08:14:00.002-07:00

I just wanted to confess that while I've managed to drink all my water and technically only have one cup of coffee a day.. IT IS A VERY LARGE CUP! ;o)
And.. this morning my son informed me he had a book report due yesterday! Normally I would tell him to face the music BUT.. his teacher hates us.. so I typed while he dictated. I've never read the book and was only the fingers.. of course.. that makes me the fingers behind the punctuation as well. OH WELL!!
I'm A CHEATER!!

Love me some sunshine!

2010-03-02T19:08:00.002-07:00

Okay.. today was a BEAUTIFUL day... I couldn't waste it so.. today I woke up and went to a 45 minute spin class. Came home, got boys off to school.. passed off the rest of my personal trainer quizzes THEN.. took my babies out for a run in the stroller/trailer. I have NEVER ran while pushing anything before so it was a little different for me. I managed to average a little under 10 minute miles for the 3.5 miles I ran "the long way" to the grocery store. I grabbed a couple of gallons of milk there and then took the short way home! 1.5 miles at a brisk WALK. I got home and actually laid on my concrete porch for a while soaking up the sun. A friend called and I decided that when my boys got home we would ride our bikes over to her house. (3.3 miles away!) So.. today, in total... I did a 45 minute spin class, ran 3.5 miles, walked 1.5 miles and biked 6.6 miles while pulling a trailer with 2 little guys in it!! Hows that for a fun day!? Tomorrow is supposed to be just as beautiful and I start the morning at the gym. I'm sure I will be taking advantage of the warm sun tomorrow as well! LOVE the SUN!!

Perfect Week...HERE I COME!!

2010-02-28T08:15:00.003-07:00

So.. today starts the perfect week challenge and I am ready! I went to 3 different stores yesterday (Sams, Sprouts, Walmart) to prepare myself to be perfect with my food!! I'm really excited to have a perfect week... ESPECIALLY since I've been dealing with bloating and a less than abundant supply of foods I feel good about the last couple days.... So I am PREPARED foodwise to do well... I have slipped on the water as I've increased my coffee intake SO... I'm limiting my coffee intake. SERIOUSLY one cup of coffee a day! THAT'S IT!! (This would be down from like 6 cups a day!)

Exercise will be easy for me.. as it is very integrated into my life. I've got dates with Brandy MWF @ 5am and dates with SPINN class TTh @ 5:30 am and Saturday @ 9 am. My husband fixed my bike trailer/double stroller yesterday so I'm hoping to use that as an excuse to get out and run a couple miles today. Got to try it out. ;o) In general... I DO NOT EXERCISE ON SUNDAYS!! I continue to work on posture. It's a big deal... I don't want to be hunchbacked forever... and I do want to get optimal results from my workouts.

I want you guys and gals to know that this it totally possible. I actually believe that there were months (ESPECIALLY April) that I had an entire perfect MONTH! It's about focusing on your goal and making up your mind to get there. GO FOR IT!!

Guess WHAT?

2010-02-26T07:03:00.003-07:00

My hair is RED! ;o)
I was bored! Now to change the rest of me. So much to do with my body.. not sure where to begin. I want to be below 18% body fat. I'll get there! ;o)

PMS

2010-02-23T07:32:00.003-07:00

Okay.. so I have been a total slacker. It's this weird cycle I go through when I'm doing the whole "having normal periods thing". When I am pmsy.. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to read blogs... and I haven't... for like A WEEK!! OY! Today I am devoted to reading a whole lot of blogs and COMMENTING!! Sorry that I have not been the support I should be. But isn't it nice to know I'm human?! ;o)
I've been doing some good in the world even if I haven't been online as much. I've started doing 5 am workouts.. and it's been a lot of fun. I've been studying like crazy and passing off these quizzes so I can get my certification!! It's entertaining... but there is SO much information.. HOLY COW!! I also have my CPR/AED certification tonight. Should be good times. I am hoping I will be the only one in the class. THAT WOULD ROCK!! Talk about getting in and getting out! ;o)
The highlight of the week thus far... the one that made me giddy... was when this AWESOME trainer at the local gym told me she would be more than willing to let me shadow her. You have no idea how worried/stressed I've been about getting hands on experience. I'm seriously STOKED!!
Now...... I need to get my focus back to water intake and nutrition. These two things are the KEYS to success! ;o) Hope everyone is having a fantastic week! The countdown has nearly begun!! WOW!! I can't believe February is almost over! AHH!!!

Healthy!!

2010-02-18T16:51:00.005-07:00

I was checking out Oh She Glows and loved her newest contest.. so here is my entry!!

The idea totally appealed to me! I mean, as I've lost weight people all want to know what my "goal weight " is and I honestly don't have one. I've gotten wrapped up in sizes and now I'm over it. It really is about being HEALTHY... and so.. these are those pants from my anniversary weekend... check out the size! WAhoo!! HEALTHY!! LOVE IT! ;o)

Grocery list!

2010-02-17T19:55:00.002-07:00

So.. we went to the store on Saturday and I made sure to get ingredients to make several yummy dinners.. [although the eggplant lasagna i made tonight was a total flop]. What I FORGOT to get at the store is stuff for me!! You know.. the foods I EAT on a daily basis. I got stuff for my hubbies lunches which = tempting crap.. but nothing for me! I'm not sure what happened but this has all resulted in a pretty bad couple of days for me as far as nutrition goes. I also took another trip up to Estes with my cousin yesterday.. which resulted in the consumption of two VERY YUMMY mochas... umm... + no exercise. Where am I going with this? IDK.. it's just been a rough few days with little exercise and not so great food choices and I feel like POOP! Physically... I swear I'm going to bed early tonight.
LUCKILY.. my company is gone, my neighbor is all moved in (they had a huge moving truck in front of my driveway today) and I have 2 workout dates tomorrow! One for spin at 5:30 and one with Brandy at 9. After that I'm going to the grocery store for some much needed FOOD!! Mushrooms, spinach, chicken, berries, oats, leeks, sandwich thins, turkey, peppers, oranges, bananas, lemons, wahoo... I'm STARVING for yummy nutritious stuff. You know it's desperate when I'm able to convince myself that sunchips aren't "so bad"! ;o)

New blog!

2010-02-17T11:45:00.002-07:00

Hmm... I have been having a hard time figuring out where I'm going with this blog. I kind of feel like my new posts just aren't what people are looking for. SOOO.... I started a new "project", a blog where I can write about fitness and nutrition and not feel like this isn't what my audience is here to see. I, OF COURSE, will continue to post on here... but I'm going to start posting recipes, exercise tips etc... @ http://karisfitnessfun.blogspot.com . Hopefully this makes sense! THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ME IN MY TRIUMPHS AND STRUGGLES!! YOU KEEP ME GOING! :o)

Weekend

2010-02-15T07:29:00.003-07:00

Hmm.. life has been a lot of fun lately. We've been doing a lot of things as a family. My husband got a new bike and I got his old one (which I LOVE!!). The personal training program is coming along AND I got a NEW HEART RATE MONITOR!!

I'm super excited about it! I love that it's pink. Kind of an inside joke but basically, since I have four boys and I'm the only one in my house who has the opportunity to "wreak of feminine beauty" I generally buy A LOT of pink! ;o) I am taking a Spinn class twice a week (starts tomorrow!) that is about cardiac health and how to USE the heart rate monitor. I'm sure this is a topic I will get into in my Personal Training certification.. but I'm really excited for the opportunity to learn more about heart health, fat burn zones, cardiac health zones, etc... WHILE exercising!! I'm also excited to announce that I've made it through ALL OF THE CHAPTERS ON ANATOMY and physiology which means... I'm into the chapters on the actual science of exercise!!! I'm so excited to learn how to develop exercise programs for clients and to assess their needs and help them overcome obstacles! YAY!! I'm concentrating strongly on my posture. It's SO IMPORTANT for overall strength and CONFIDENCE. Yesterday we were grocery shopping and I totally felt like PUKING.. but I walked around wal-mart rockin' my pecs.. it was pretty dang funny! I am enjoying reading your blogs. The 2nd month is always harder than the first. The weight doesn't come off the same and it's easy to lose motivation. Just don't lose MOMENTUM!! Keep working towards your goals. :o)

Life

2010-02-12T08:47:00.003-07:00

Today I feel kind of crappy.. my throat is a little sore.. but my head is the big problem here.. my neck is sore too. I'm eating an egg white omelet with little enthusiasm and contemplating whether or not I'm going to feel up to spin class tomorrow (I have to call in 12 minutes to reserve my spot!). I've been studying my Personal Training stuff and have taken a few quizzes. There are 33 quizzes altogether.. hopefully by todays end I will have finished 6 of them. I was planning on heading to the gym today.. maybe I'll take a nap instead. The last thing I want to do is beat my body up when it's functioning at 50% and take twice as long to get better!
BLAH!!
Here's to hoping I feel much better tomorrow!

Dear...

2010-02-11T11:17:00.002-07:00

Dear Large Breasted Woman at the Gym:
I couldn't help but notice you attempting to "run" on the treadmill yesterday. The idea that you would show up in a camisole and a regular bra was enough to make me giggle. Your workout buddy staring at your bouncing bossoms the entire time was also quite funny (maybe he is your boyfriend?). May I suggest you invest in a VERY SUPPORTIVE sports bra before you attempt to run again. It's no wonder you only lasted about 30 seconds running at a time... OUCH!!
Sincerely,
Kari :o)

Personal Training?! :)

2010-02-09T08:25:00.002-07:00

So... I have been pretty sure for a while that I want to become certified as a personal trainer. I've got some good feedback from people who tell me that I am a perfect candidate! There are a few things that make me really want to do it!

#1- I love helping/motivating people... and I absolutely value having a personal trainer. There is nothing better than having someone on your side who KNOWS you can do it.. even when you aren't so sure!

#2- I've been told that I have an advantage in the industry because I've "been there". We'll call it a "relatability factor" that some trainers don't get. Not fair to them... but when people look at their trainer and say.. "you don't know how I feel..." many of them don't. But.. I GET IT!!

#3- Becoming a personal trainer increases my odds of keeping this weight off FOREVER!! Who doesn't want that?!?!?

AND SO!!!!

I enrolled in a certification program! I'm SOOO excited and by May I will be a certified personal trainer. In the mean time, I'm going to attempt to take on "practice clients". I'm gathering up a few more items so I will have all the equipment I need to train people in my basement! SO SO EXCITED!!! I'm thinking that next week I will start experimenting on my friend Kari. Bwah ha ha.. what a brave soul. Between now and then I need to make up an awesome waiver about me not knowing what the hell I'm doing! ;o)

Pics from Estes Park!!

2010-02-06T21:08:00.004-07:00

Kay.. we finally got the pics back from Estes Park. We did the "bad adults traveling without children" thing and COMPLETELY forgot the camera. We had to settle for throw away [not digital] cameras and then there was a mix up with our film and it felt like forever to get the pics. Anyway.. wanted to post some of my favs! ;o)

After spending a weekend there we concluded we want to live there someday! It's incredibly beautiful.
This dollhouse is a replica of the Stanley Hotel that was APPARENTLY used in the making of Stephen Kings miniseries "The Shining".

D and I outside of room 217 in the Stanely Hotel.. apparently.. that's kind of a big deal! ;o)

And finally.. pics of the "sexy outift" I bought for our dinner!! What do you think?

Just Braggin' ;o)

2010-02-03T19:44:00.002-07:00

So.. I didn't get to do spinn class tonight. I spaced it yesterday and forgot to call. It's kind of a pain. You have to call no sooner than 24 hours before the class to reserve your spot. Since class starts at 6:30, this means that if you don't call between 6:30 and 6:40, you won't get in. Last night I was taking dinner to a friend who just had a baby and missed the 10 minute window! CRAP!! So today I decided I would go to the gym anyway and work out on the treadmill. I've done treadmill classes in the past and have also noticed my spinn instructors seem to be printing workouts off the internet so I thought I'd google "5 mile treadmill workouts." I LOVE GOOGLING!!! So... I found a workout that was just incline. Pick your pace, increase incline... it looked like this:

1 mile 1% [incline]

.75 mile 2% [incline]

.5 mile 3% [incline]

.5 mile 4% [incline]

.5 mile 3% [incline]

.75 mile 2% [incline]

1 mile 1% [incline]

For a total of 5 miles. ALL WITH INCLINE!!

So I headed over to the gym determined to do this. I am going to admit that I have not ran except for one time since the half marathon in November!! Yeah... I know.. total slacker. I've been spinning 3 times a week and doing p90x 5-6 days a week... it's just cold outside and I was injured after the 1/2... anyway... I arrived at the gym completely unsure what my pace would be. I'm not really a fan of treadmill AKA dreadmill running HOWEVER... I was AMAZED at how eager my body was to run! I was able to run the entire 5 miles at 6.5 MPH!! AND I did the incline!!! 5 miles in 46 minutes and 10 seconds WITH incline!! I'm SO EXCITED!!!!

One year ago I was just starting to run. I was running for 3 minutes at a time at 4.5 mph back then!! Isn't it amazing how much can change in one year?

Kind of a big deal!

2010-02-02T09:50:00.002-07:00

I realized last night that I have managed to maintain a weight of 120- 122 lbs for 3 months now!! This has been DONE while facing a BIG MOVE for our family, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years, and an Anniversary!! I'm pretty excited about this. Hooray for living life and NOT gaining weight in the process. It's possible!

Scattered random NOT TMI...

2010-02-01T07:34:00.002-07:00

This weekend was a lot fun... with a little disappointment. There was a lot of trickiness going on. Let's see. It's pretty obvious that there is some resentment towards exercise and diet going on in my marriage. So... I spent this weekend NOT exercising and trying not to be overly obsessive about what I ate. I still made the best available decisions, but I tried not to get too crazy and just eat wherever we were eating. I also was able to get a lot of WALKING in! My hubby was totally willing to walk up and down streets with me... but... I didn't get any real cardio or strength training in. There was a gym at the resort we stayed at but I decided that I needed to spend this weekend doing things TOGETHER.
Now I'm home and ready to bust it out. I'm just going through a lot of "stuff" in my head. I am feeling very ALONE... on the plus side.. this gives me more focus during my workouts. On the flip side... anger/hurt all the time is hard to deal with.

Body fat %

2010-01-27T05:58:00.003-07:00

Hmm... today I took off to the gym after a very rough night. I couldn't sleep... it was like the night before the big field trip. I kept waking up and thinking.. it's probably 5.. I'll head over! WRONG!! It was 1:26, then 3:42 then FINALLY 5:12.

I know it seems lame to be SO excited about a body fat percentage test BUT.... I couldn't help it. Last year I was at 40% body fat. This means that 80 lbs of my 198 lb body was FAT!! BLAH!! Today I weighed in at 22.6% body fat! WOW!!! The trainer who was doing the test looked at me and was like... "You are at a VERY good place here! Anything you do from here is totally for vanities sake!" Why THANK YOU trainer lady! I APPRECIATE THAT!! ;o) This number means that I have 26 lbs of fat distributed throughout my body. Much better than 80.. but still kind of creepy! ALTHOUGH.. according to trainer lady that is FANTASTIC! SO... this comp [at the gym] ends in 2 months. I have no idea what is REALISTIC but... I would love to weigh in at under 20%. This requires a lot of strength training and I figure... P90X CAN deliver if I push myself hardcore... so... I'm in it to win it! [Well.. not to win the competition BUT the top 50% get a free months sauna pass!!] I'm ready to BRING IT!!! :o)

Little things!

2010-01-26T07:43:00.003-07:00

This week is destined to be FANTASTIC!! It's my 4th week of p90x which means I'm not really doing any resistance stuff and I "get" to do YogaX twice. 2 weeks ago I was cursing the stupid thing but last week I forced myself to get through all the vinyasa's and realized that it's not SO bad! ;o) Yesterday I did yoga and almost sort of enjoyed it. ;o)
Tomorrow is the "Weigh in" for the comp at the gym and I'm SOOOOO STOKED to get my body fat %. I am, of course, a little nervous but.. when I started this journey I was around 40% body fat! I'm HOPING that tomorrow I will be below 23%! I'm going to wake up at 5:30 and head over to the gym so look out for a crazy percentage tomorrow! OY!!
This weekend also marks our 10 year anniversary and we are going to be getting away WITHOUT kids for about 40 hours! This is HUGE and we are so grateful to have family only 40 minutes away who are willing to take on all 4 of our amazing, rambunctious boys! THANKS LES AND ELISE!!
At some point this week I WILL get out and get a sexy outfit!! I'm really excited at the prospect and this is also why I am disappointed that cleavage is not an option. BUT... I know my husband will love taking me out all steaming hot! SO... I promise by Monday of next week there WILL be a pic of me in my little anniversary outfit! CAN'T WAIT!!
I'm still spinning 2-3 times a week and enjoying it! I'm excited to start training for another half marathon soon, although I'm still not sure what event(s) I'm going to do. I really want to go out to Illinois and run on May 1st with Andrea but... I just don't know if that will work out. I'm toying with the idea of doing a triathlon this summer but... I really am not a swimmer... so... we shall see! I AM planning on doing the WARRIOR DASH in August!! This looks way too fun to pass up! I also heard about a relay event in Colorado... IT looks awesome but I have NO idea how to find/join a team. Maybe I can MAKE a team!! Elise, Sarah, Robyn, Kira, any of you Colorado girls up for it?!? ;o)
Okay.. enough rambling.. I better hit the dishes.
Hope you are all having a fantastic week. We are in the home stretch for this month so BRING IT GIRLS!! 10 days till our first weigh in! WAHOO!!

UN inspired!

2010-01-25T06:55:00.002-07:00

Today I'm feeling BLAH! It's been a BLAH week. My life has just been BLAH! I'm missing my family more and more. Having NO ability to have a mental health day is getting to me.
I missed Spinn class last Wednesday because one of my hubby's employees leaned on a "safety rail" that was NOT properly installed and fell 3 stories into a six foot trench. (Umm... so basically 4 stories.) [He is still in the hospital but talking and walking. He has a few broken ribs, a broken clavicle, bruised organs and a collapsed lung.]
Friday I went to meet Brandy at the mall and my Land Cruiser "overheated". While at the mall I ATTEMPTED to purchase a bra that gives me cleavage! I walked into Victoria Secret and said... I NEED CLEAVAGE!! They brought out the big guns in size 32A, and 32AA and low and behold... it cannot be done. I have officially lost enough boob to make it virtually impossible to have cleavage... (Although I've been inspired by mythbusters to give duct tape a try!!)
After our venture I called my hubby who told me to leave the Land Cruiser there and luckily, Brandy had room to drive me home because as it turns out... THE HEAD GASKET BLEW!!
All of this has put added stress on my hubby which, then adds stress to me!
In the mean time... we have just recently had this big "reflection" and have decided to be BETTER to our children and each other... so amongst the stress, I have been putting forth a huge effort to be a better mom and wife. My DH has ALSO put forth a HUGE effort!!
Today... I am drained. If I were home [in Utah with my siblings], I would get my hair done, maybe my nails, get out and buy the outfit I'm so desperately longing to find, (I want to get a sexy outfit for my Anniversary night out on the town)... BUT... because I have no family, I have no opportunity to get out without my little guys in tow... and OBVIOUSLY that defeats the purpose! ;o)
Today I'm going to a MOPS group (where my kiddos get to go to the nursery) and tonight I have Spinn! Hopefully these 3 hours without kids will help my soul (and cure my headache!) For now... I'll remain robotic and uninspired! BLAH!
PS... I totally didn't eat any chocolate and you can't prove otherwise! ;o)

A day in the life of...

2010-01-22T08:02:00.003-07:00

I've had a few girls ask me about what I eat/or ATE when I was losing weight. First of all.. they are one in the same! ;o) I EAT better now than I did when I first started losing because I've learned ALOT along the way. I thought it would be fun to post a sample day for anyone interested!

Breakfast:

2 cups of coffee with sugar-free vanilla creamer. ( I KNOW... It's a splurge!)

Omelet- 1 whole egg, 2 additional egg whites, one t olive oil, onions, mushrooms, fresh garlic, spinach. Whip it up and enjoy. (Sometimes I add chicken to this!)

Mid-morning snack:

Marathon protein bar! YUM!

Lunch:

Chicken sandwich: 1 sandwich thin, lettuce, onions, 1/4 avocado, cucumber, sprouts, 2-3 ounces chicken, a slice of pepper jack cheese and 1 t Italian dressing.

Afternoon snack:

2 cuties (little oranges) 60 calorie string cheese, 15 almonds.

Dinner:

VARIES. This is usually just a healthy version of WHATEVER.. this week I've had:

Quinoa Hawaiian haystacks, turkey taco salad, chicken Alfredo over squash, whole grain chicken enchiladas, squash/chicken, I just kind of eat a normal DINNER with a whole grain twist.

Evening Snack:

I do NOT always have one UNLESS I've worked out. In this case I eat a fruit. (Just trying to get some complex carbs in after a major workout!) I also will add cottage cheese if I have any.. If I don't I end up with more string cheese usually!

SPLURGE!!

When I'm having the munchies in the afternoon I am in the habit of popping a bag of popcorn. Once again it's an opportunity to mindlessly eat but with few calories and technically still whole grain! ;o) When I'm approaching the TOM... this happens very frequently. I also tend to brew more coffee at this time of day and have another cup or two.

This is just a sample (basically it's what I ate yesterday!) I do have lots of other suggestions and a list of 200-300 calorie meal ideas if anyone is interested. :o)

Is that a muscle??

2010-01-21T07:00:00.005-07:00

Okay... so I'm like 2.5 weeks into P90X and I AM seeing muscles that I haven't seen in a very long time. Yesterday I was teasing my boys and flexed.. then I flipped my wrist and WOWZER.. IS THAT A MUSCLE? We were laughing so hard that my boys decided to make a movie. Here is a fantastic 10 second video of my amazing muscles! ;o)

Of course.. after this my boys had to try it and their muscles were much more defined then mine.. but in my defense they are skinny little children who do gymnastics! ;o)

Not an expert.. not a public speaker...

2010-01-20T11:47:00.003-07:00

Okay.. so the class.. was... umm.. well... AWKWARD! I just wasn't really sure what they wanted from me. I was asked to talk about NUTRITION.. not NUTRITION and weight loss. But I have a hard time not talking about weight loss EVER because... well.. it's kind of ingrained in my head. I'm always trying to reach "that one person" who might actually need the support I'm happy to give and well.. I got all nervous and veered off topic and really skimped on the topics that are SO important to me.. like NO SUGAR and the EVILS of WHITE FLOUR... I just would make eye contact with the wrong person and think.. Um yeah.. that person thinks I'm full of it.

[Side Note: this was for an enrichment meeting which means women don't necessarily come because they are genuinely interested (though some definitely were!), a lot come just to get out of the house or to see their friends. Had this been a room full of "women who WANTED TO LEARN PROPER EATING FOR A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE"... I wouldn't have been so crazy!]

So, while my presentation was not as flawless and perfect and filled with "duh" moments as I was hoping for... the evening was DEFINITELY worth the effort. AFTER the "classes" it was mingle/eat treats time and I had the opportunity to talk one on one with several women who were excited about my story and their own health goals/journeys!! (By several I mean >10!!) I gave out my blog url and encouraged women to check out YOUR blogs! You are all INSPIRING others EVERY DAY!!! Hopefully our "support other losers" list will be growing and we can all continue to succeed in our goal to become a healthier version of our own AMAZING selves!! The best thing about a competition being THIS BIG is that there are more opportunities to build relationships and realize that WE ARE NOT ALONE!! WE are all in this together. Everyone is fighting their own battles and in general... our struggles are not entirely unique. It's fun to find people who share the same hard times because we are able to build strength to overcome together!

Water=healthy heart?

2010-01-19T07:32:00.002-07:00

Hmmm.... I've been going to spinn class for a few weeks now. My hubby purchased a heart rate monitor for me and I've been taking it to class. My heart rate has been kind of out of control... like up to 189 during spinn. Well.. yesterday I worked HARDER than I've ever worked before and... hmm... my heart rate was never above 161!! WOW!! The only change has been water.. and yesterday I drank 130 ozs!! OY!! I made it my goal to drink 100 ozs a day but I decided that water consumed during exercise didn't count towards that goal. Yesterday I had 2 workouts.. p90x and spinn.. so I drank an additional 30 ozs. It was actually kind of awesome cause after class I was watching "Interventions" with my hubby and my eyes were watering! ;o) He went to tease me for crying and I just said, "Honey! I've drank 130 ozs of water today. I can't help if it's pouring out of every pore!!" He actually laughed!! BWAH HA HA!! I'm hilarious!

H2Oh my!!

2010-01-18T06:34:00.004-07:00

So... water challenge?! Interesting... I wonder what brilliant mind thought of that? LOL! Let's be honest guys and gals. I KNOW that water is liquid gold and, well... I've been slacking in the water department. This challenge is MUCH needed in my life so I hoped to bring it to others as well. I love Debbie's post... "about not taking anyone else's word for it" because even when you do the research you find that HOLY GEEZE... why have I been depriving myself of this all my life? We hear all the time that we should drink 8, 8 oz glasses of water a day... but I don't recall ever being told WHY it is so important. If you want a great blog entry of all the very important info on water check it out here. Yesterday I managed to drink 110 ozs of water!!! I felt much fuller and I slept awesome last night... WEIRD!!

Tomorrow I am giving a presentation on Nutrition. The cute lady in charge put this on the flyer:
Class #1: Tweak your diet.
Whole grains, natural foods, less sugar.
Learn how to make small changes for a healthier diet.

Hmm... so, I've been planning this thing for a while but am still NOT sure what the crap I'm going to say. I mean, we all know that nutrition is incredibly contraversial! (Hell we can't even talk about drinking water without getting a zillion different opinions.) I keep telling myself I need to be true to this ad... but I get that thought in my head that everyone will blow me off as a crazy person and take NOTHING from it. (Ask Lisa, people do that to her ALL THE TIME!) I'm concerned because another person will be talking about exercise and apparantly she's been losing weight recently with her new found love for exercise. We all know I have a love/hate relationship with exercise. I believe it is IMPARATIVE to lose weight correctly and I exercise at LEAST 5 times a week. Building up muscle tissue helps you burn fat faster and absolutely aids in weight loss BUT... some people take exercise and use it as an excuse to eat LIKE CRAP, then they wonder why they aren't losing. And for whatever reason, exercise seems so much easier to add to a life then eating healthy... people just aren't willing to give up comfort foods. BAH!! The other issue is that this thing is about New Year/New You. Both of the presenters have recently lost a considerable amount of weight. Still, it isn't my intent to tell people that they aren't good enough if they are overweight. On the other hand.. that's why I've been invited to present. I printed up my progressive pic and put it in a frame.

I Hope this is appropriate... but yeah.. I went to this MOPS group the other day where this lady gave a schpill about weight loss and the people in charge kind of freaked out because they felt like she was giving a message that people "would be better" if they lost weight. OY OY OY!! Then we get back to my issue with people giving skinny people crap for eating healthy but not mentioning to overweight people that they are KILLING themselves when they are shoving their 6th slice of greasy/sicko pizza in their mouth.

Oh well.. today is the day I will get my presentation all together. Wish me luck!

AND DRINK YOUR WATER!!! ;o)

Randomness

2010-01-16T18:29:00.002-07:00

This morning I headed to the gym early (I had a spinn class) so that I could OFFICIALLY become a member. I had been missing the manager and had questions for him so I hadn't actually got around to doing the whole membership thing until today. SO... he's doing all this computer stuff as I stand there and this gal who was probably something like 5'2" and 180 lbs was standing there asking the HORRIBLE sales girl questions about joining the club and doing the competition. She wasn't positive that she was joining the gym YET but she was really interested in the comp. (PS.. I SIGNED UP FOR THE COMP!!! YAY!!!) I couldn't help myself. First she was asking about the Body Fat percentage calculations (because they have a health and wellness/nutrition place that charges $89 to do an BF%, eval and give a nutrition plan). I leaned over and said, "It's part of the $10 buy in!! You get it calculated TWICE!! That's why I'm signing up for the comp!" She was really receptive to me and was asking questions about buy in versus how much you can win. Her mom was there with her and telling her that if she wins she would win WHATEVER money was in the pot. Once again I chimed in and said, "I won almost $900 last year losing weight." She looked sort of confused and asked something like "really?" I mentioned that I had lost 80 lbs COMPETING... and that COMPETITION really kept me going. She asked for proof (well... she was just like "WOW!! Do you have a pic? I can't even imagine!")... like I should carry a fat pic in my wallet LOL!! Anyway... I hope that she will be inspired to join up. Because any step to a healthier life is a step in the right direction! Oh to be a personal trainer... or a fly on the wall who can just offer HELP to gals who are looking for it! I am tempted to get a shirt with a fat pic of me on it that says something like... "I TOTALLY GET IT!! ASK ME!! I WON'T CHARGE YOU FOR ANSWERS!!!"
I think people lose great opportunities to help others when they are so caught up in working the front desk that they forget that they are working in a place where they can change/inspire lives DAILY!!! Hmm... maybe I should get a job there! ;o)
As for my days. Yesterday I did Leg/Back and today my ass hurts!! YAY!!! I love when my glutes are sore!! I'm getting plenty of exercise but pretty much eating WHATEVER... well.. I mean whatever that is in my guidelines. Tonight we had Hawaiian haystacks with quinoa instead of rice!! YUMMY!! It's kind of fun that I've gotten so good at WHAT I EAT that I don't have to think about it anymore. Like I eat whatever is in the cupboard because everything in the cupboard is good for me! INSANE!! [I should mention I've been at this for a year and I have very RECENTLY arrived.]
Hope you all are having a fantastic weekend.
And now... Kenpo.... too bad I'm totally uncoordinated! :oP

Weird...

2010-01-14T19:07:00.002-07:00

It's been a really long time since I've gone to the grocery store with a "list" of foods I need to buy. Today I was able to get out with only the 2 little guys and I kept looking at my list and thinking.. "sheesh... I haven't even gotten anything" as I went up and down the aisles. (I'm in the habit of going down EVERY aisle.) So I'm almost to the end of all the aisles and it hits me... Umm.. MOST of the stuff on this list is produce and meat!
Wow! It feels so awesome to not have a list of freezer and boxed items to feed to my family. YUCK! It amazes me that I've eaten crap like that my entire life! SO glad I'm moving on! ;o)
I also got a cookie recipe from a friend to make cookies for my hubby. It was pretty funny that I had to buy a few basic ingredients (like brown sugar and crisco) and the best part was that when I got home I realized that I didn't have any BLEACHED WHITE FLOUR to put in them. It's just not something I buy anymore... Luckily I was able to get some from a neighbor...
AND... I hate p90x yoga... any of you hardcore girls know what I could substitute it with? My life is just too busy and crazy to attempt to "clear my mind" for 92 FREAKIN MINUTES!! Any suggestions?

Lesson Learned

2010-01-13T07:53:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was Plyometrics.

Plyometrics=jump training

Yesterday was Laundry day.

Laundry day = no clean clothes that fit.

Plyometrics+clothes that don't fit=

Jumping up and down while your pants are at your ankles. OY!

New day!

2010-01-12T12:00:00.002-07:00

I was talking to a friend today about life and it's ups and downs. She told me that I need to worry about today. Like work really hard today to make today a good one. (She mentioned that as things get better I can focus on making weeks, months, or even years better!) It was a lot of fun talking to her.
So.. today I'm moving on. Looking forward. Here I go. It's a new day to be a new better me. :o)