Thursday, October 21, 2010

New Audience, New Voice!

I realize that I am going to have some new traffic to my blog thanks to a crazy idea to send a pic to Bob Harper the BL trainer.  I didn't realize at the time that a zillion people would see it AND that a few of them would be inspired to change their lives because of it. 
A few HUNDRED people have asked how I did it and I hate to disappoint those people so I will answer them as best I can but be warned... my answer may equally disappoint.  This is a story of hard work, skipping Easter candy and SO MUCH MORE!!  Read it if you dare but know in advance that I lost my weight with the good old fashioned sentiment of "EAT LESS MOVE MORE!!"
I was chubby as a child but thinned out around 9th grade and became incredibly active at that time.  I graduated high school, headed off to college (where I ate myself 20 lbs heavier).  I left college after only one semester, met my NOW husband, got pregnant, married and gained another 50 lbs.  One year (and 5 days) after my first son was born I gave birth to my 2nd son.  Over the course of the next 4 years I would occasionally try another fad diet.  Atkins, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, and of course... prescription weight loss pills that made me poop my pants.  ALL of these worked briefly.  All of them became inconvenient incredibly quickly.  All of them rendered me a failure and reaffirmed the idea I had in my head that "it's impossible."   At one point during the 4 years of failure I had a conversation with an internal medicine doctor in which he told me essentially that "weight loss wasn't worth the work".  He told me it was SOOO hard to lose the weight and even harder to keep it off and that I would have to starve myself and run 10 miles a day to even dream about being in my high school jeans.  And with that... I rendered it not only impossible, but foolish, stupid, and a dream not worth working towards.
It's interesting the bigger I got on the outside, the smaller I felt on the inside.
I gave birth to my 3rd son 5 years after my 2nd son was born.  I never even thought about weight loss at this point.  2 years after my 3rd son, my 4th son arrived and I was well over 200 lbs. It was at this point that I decided to EMBRACE my big self.  I asked a close photographer friend to take family pictures for me and I LIKED THEM!
In December of 2008 I finally went and got myself a Lane Bryant Card and bought myself some cute size "2" jeans! (Lane Bryant sells plus size clothes only and they resize them to make yourself feel better that you are a "2" and not a 20!)  Life was going FANTASTIC!  I was pretending to be incredibly happy stuffed into my new jeans.  I was embracing the concept that my size didn't interfere with my ability to be a good mother, wife, friend etc.  And then one day... my bubble got popped and I realized just how big of a lie I was accepting as truth.
That Christmas my boys received snow boards and so did I! I was thrilled to pick up a new sport!  I even went into the sports supply store and squeezed myself into the LARGEST pair of snow pants that they had in the store.  (They were overalls!) I couldn't breath.. but those pants zipped up and became the LAST pair of XXL anything I EVER bought!  Snowboarding was devastating.  I would almost instantly fall.  Once I fell, it was IMPOSSIBLE to get back up.  As you can see from above, my husband is a thin man.  It was his COMPLETE INABILITY TO COMPREHEND how on earth I couldn't just GET UP that really put me in my place.  What the hell was wrong with me?  Why couldn't I get my fat ass up out of the snow? Big AH-HA moment.  My weight WAS interfering with EVERY aspect of my life!!
And finally!!  I got mad!  I got motivated!  I stopped lying to myself!  And I determined to change!
I started telling people that I had to do something to change and my cousin mentioned to me that she was joining a weight loss competition with a group of photographers and I jumped at the opportunity to compete.  It gave me focus, support, and drive.  And for the first time in my life, I admitted that I never followed through with ANYTHING and made it my goal to just FINISH SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!! I joined this 5 month competition not knowing what on earth I was doing.. I just KNEW that I was going to do it for 5 months.  AND that whatever I did.. it had to be something I could DO FOREVER!!  I realized then that temporary changes only yield temporary results and I refused to lose weight only to regain it! 
So what did I do?  Well.. I went insane.. I got obsessive.. I freaked out and changed things up here or there but the one thing I always did was NoT EaT SuGaR, WhItE FlOuR, OR DrInK AlCoHoL! I also followed a few guidelines that I picked up from a new friend who happens to be a fantastic personal trainer!   (Click HERE for a list of the "RULES" I followed to lose the weight!) These rules were really the bread and butter of my diet plan.  They forced me to EAT!!  And EAT RIGHT!!  2 concepts I had never before been willing to accept.  I also began a normal exercise regimen.  I was at the gym 5-6 times a week.  I was fortunate enough to know a couple of people who had given me some sort of direction in the gym so I made sure to do 30 minutes of cardio and 20-30 minutes of resistance training EVERY TIME I stepped in the door.  However, I fully embraced the concept that EXERCISE IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO EAT BADLY!!  Exercise was supplemental to my plan.  It fed me MENTALLY when I couldn't feed myself physically, but it is NOT the reason I lost 80+ lbs! 
I know on the Biggest Loser they are always showing everyone MELTING in the gym... but watch seasons where people have thrown the weighins.. they still worked their ass off in the gym.. it was what they put in their mouths that kept weight on!!
I feel like this entry is already WAY too long!!  If you have questions.. feel free to post comments and ask them!  Maybe I'll do a q and a next blog entry! For now... start with the idea that