Sunday, June 28, 2009
It's been our week of celebration in the city my hubby grew up in and true to form, we go to a couple parades and usually sit with his extended family. Well, Friday night we went and it was fun. No one really said ANYTHING to me about my body, shape, weight, whatever... they pretty much just ignored me like they do every year. Well.. Saturday we went to the next parade with the same bunch of them and one of his cousins went up to HIM and asked him what drug I was on! LOL!! I think it's a riot that at this point people assume I'm living on ally and veggies.... OR that I've had some kind of invasive surgery. Seriously.. people seem completely shocked when they hear the response... well... 2 drugs... DIET and EXERCISE!! No really... people seem like they think we are full of it and that I am hiding my new "secret" success tips. HAHA!!
One other thing... my weight is fluctuating a ton. I don't really understand it but my pants don't seem to notice the change in weight. Like today I'm 3.5 lbs more than 3 days ago, but my pants aren't any tighter. UGH!! I wish that weight wasn't meant to fluctuate and that a gain was a gain and a loss was a loss, it just isn't that simple is it? I must keep counting calories. It's amazing how life tries desperately to get in the way but... I'm not going to let it! BOO TO YOU LIFE!!! YOU DON'T OWN ME! ;o)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
- I can't take time away from my kids to exercise.
- It's too expensive to eat healthy.
- I go to the gym EVERYDAY but the weight just won't come off.
- My grandma told me I will always be fat so I should deal with it.
- My husband is OKAY with my bigger body.
- It's baby weight. Even 2 or three years after my second was born people would actually give me this excuse if I complained about my weight.
- Stress. Yes... we use and validate this excuse all the time but the truth is... we CHOOSE to be stressed!!
- Life is just too busy!
- I'm not comfortable being thin. (Bizarre right?) I think that we get to a point in our lives where we are in a rut. Maybe we feel under appreciated by everyone around us and we fear that with some confidence and a thinner frame people might see the value in is! For a long time I was afraid that if I were thin, I would be more susceptible to temptation and less trustworthy in life. I ALWAYS knew that I was a good/fun person... and wondered if I were good looking too... how would that change me.
- It's not worth it. When I was working at the hospital I actually had this amazing Dr. tell me that being thin wasn't worth the effort, because it is a lifetime of eating right and exercising OR inevitably regaining the weight.
- I did really good for a week and nothing happened!!
- But I've TRIED over and over!
- I am meant to be fat.
- I'm not THAT big!
- I just don't eat enough!
- I will do it someday... when my kids are all in school.
- A gym membership is too expensive.
AND ON AND ON AND ON!!!
I guess the bottom line here is that... you can tell yourself over and over and over that cows lay eggs. To the point that you could absolutely believe it. But when it all comes down to it... you're wrong and lying to yourself only makes you a fool.
I got asked how far along I was several times a week. In fact, in December my 5 year old niece asked me if I had a baby in my tummy. I told her "no" that I had just had a baby (even though he was 6 months old at the time) to which she replied..." hmmm.. well... do you have ANOTHER baby in your tummy?" I honestly was so used to this question that I would respond "I'm not pregnant, just fat!" with a funny little chuckle. I stopped being offended and worked very hard to not let people be embarrassed for asking because I KNEW that I looked pregnant. CASE IN POINT:
In hiding: I didn't eat TONS of bad stuff.. mostly I just ate until my sides felt like they were gonna bust, BUT when I did eat something really bad I would hide. I can think of several times that I ate those yummy ice cream cone "drumstick" thingies while locked in my bedroom. I can think of a couple of times where I ate 2-4 of them in one sitting.
I never ate breakfast! This was actually an excuse I used! LIKE FOR REALS.... I'm fat and I only eat 2 [huge] meals a day. My body just must not want to let go of this weight! I was ALWAYS told that breakfast was oober important but just didn't buy it. Now I make sure to eat AS SOON AS I WAKE UP!!
I was afraid to be someone else. I was totally comfortable with who I was and afraid that I might become someone I didn't know or like. Another odd thing... but.. the truth is, I don't feel much different. I've learned alot about my limits and that there really aren't any. I am stronger that way... but I'm still totally me! :o)
Any excuses I left out? Feel free to leave me your list of excuses!! LOL!! If not here, just make a list for yourself. But writing them down is admitting that you are full of them and just a reiteration that YOU can be successful in losing weight if you stop trying and start doing! ;o)
P.S. The only excuse I had left was about my treadmill. That's right... I wrote a whole entry about how the rain is cramping my style, all the while, I had a treadmill downstairs. In the past, the belt has been sliding which would result in a sudden jolt when the belt hit the side of the treadmill and ME falling on my face! My hubby worked on it and was sure he had fixed it... but I didn't believe him! My hubby is a handsome man if I do say so myself and is VERY lean. He has ran on it a couple of times and he runs much faster than I do and the belt DOES NOT slide. I just chalked this up to the fact that he weighs less than my goal weight! Here's a pic of me hiding behind him! Anyway... I finally ran on it yesterday because my run was once again foiled by the rain and umm... I ran between 6.5 and 7 mph for 3.5 miles and it didn't slip ONCE!! OY!!! So there goes that excuse. I'm relieved.. .but annoyed. I can't believe I've wasted 2 years with that treadmill and never ran on it!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
So the sky was blue and the sun was shining today and I was SO excited to get out of the house. I loaded up my kiddos in the stroller and off we went. We were 1.25 miles into our walk when the gray clouds rolled in and it started to rain! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was hoping it would blow over... intead it started pouring and HAILING!!! Holy geeze! It was quite the downpour and it's still raining even now. I just think it's HILARIOUS that the whole week I've been staying inside because I was scared of clouds that really haven't produced much and the day I finally get out... we have the biggest storm in 3 years! BLAH!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
10. I SLEEP at night!! I used to snore from all the weight on my stomach. I always felt tired and woke up a million times in the night! NOW... I sleep. I feel rested. LOVE not being tired all the time.
9. My wedding ring and class ring fit!! That hasn't happened in like 10 years!
8. I can wrap a bathroom towel around my body. This might not be something you smaller people can't even comprehend. But the bigger you are, it gets to the point where you can NOT touch the two sides of the towel together, let alone overlap them.
7. No more of those pictures you see and think... I'm not really that big am I? For the last 10 years, I hide from cameras but for whatever reason, I seem to always be in Christmas pics. It's always that crazy side profile and EVERY year I think... Ugh... am I seriously that big? Now I do the opposite. I don't recognize myself in pics.... Can't wait to get to the point that I just look at pics and not worry about my size!
6. New Friends! This competition has been so incredible for me because I have managed to meet a great group of women!! It's been fantastic to do girls nights and have fun with new people. I am so glad that ya'll have put up with me... even with my obsessive nature! ;o)
5. Belts that fit. Well... I never actually wore belts before because I was squeezed so tight into my jeans that there was no way they were going anywhere. Now I use belts and I they actually fit without increasing the amount of fat that hangs out of my jeans. I owned 2 belts before the comp and couldn't wear either of them. It's so fun to watch yourself shrink via the holes in a belt!
4. Goodbye Mushroom Top If you look at my now pics, you can see that I still have a belly roll. I am going to keep working on that but I just want to say a FOREVER FAREWELL to the mushroom top. (Some of you might call it a "muffin top" but umm... for me it was FAR greater than that... thus I call it a mushroom top!) I think that when you get to a certain size you start to REFUSE to buy bigger pants and then the mushroom top starts to spread. Now I don't mind wearing a bigger size to avoid the look... I have NOT eliminated my love handles, but they are getting smaller.
3. Stamina Okay... take it however you want to. I mean it in any way you can imagine. ;o)
2. Self Control While I do feel like I've lost my mind on more than one occasion during this journey, I have learned that I have an amazing amount of self-control. I've always been one of those people who COMPLETELY BELIEVES that there is no limit to what an individual has accomplished. We are the only ones standing in our way! It takes a lot of self-discipline. And while I'm no master, I've come a long way from where I was 5 months ago.
1. FINISH WHAT YOU START! This concept, that I never followed through with any thing is what I committed to at the beginning of the challenge. It was my number one priority, before weight loss or anything else. I just had to prove to myself i could do it and I'm so excited to say that I FINISHED!! I never gave up. I did not let excuses get in the way. I learned so much in this competition about myself. And I'm excited to take on new challenges. Like college courses. :o) I have always known that this was a huge problem for me and I'm SO glad that at least this time, I followed through!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Okay.. Monday was an alright day. I went on a 4 mile walk with the stroller earlier in the day and hoped to be able to run it later in the day but by the time we got home from my son's baseball game, the sky was looking really ugly SO... I didn't get to run yesterday. I did do well with my diet though so I feel good about that.
I went to lunch with my sis and our kids yesterday and we somehow ended up with an EXTRA loaded baked potato. It looked and smelled SO good!! I just wanted one little bite. I resisted.. but I'm adding that to my list of things I'm going to eat on Saturday! ;o) (Now I'm really not going to eat all of this. But I AM going to take small bites of whatever looks good all day Saturday!) LOL!! Alright. Here's to having AMAZING days the next 3 days cause Friday morning weigh in comes early. Hey that reminds me... if the weigh in is FRIDAY... I can start eating everything in sight by noon that day! ;o)
Monday, June 1, 2009
AND!!! I was watching T.V. with my hubby last night. Twice yesterday I told my hubby that "I'm eating that next Sunday"! ;o) Like a pepperoni pizzone from pizza hut. Doesn't even sound good now but at the moment, eating some kind of splurge sounded SO good! Oh and he was eating a cinnamon roll for breakfast and telling me how FANTASTIC it tasted and I told him I'm having one for breakfast next Saturday! (Of course I won't because I'm running that morning!) Anyway. I am excited for the final weigh in. I am feeling great. I know I'm losing at least at the rate I've lost every other month. I'm working out daily. I'm feeling awesome. Only 4 more days! ;o)