Lemonade anyone?

I know I've been a total slacker. I apologize. I have been so busy making lemonade... as life has been so freely willing to clobber me with lemons. Here is my list-o-lemons!

1. We are moving into my in-laws home while they are out of the country, which means we have to move a considerable amount of their possessions out before we can move ours in!

2. Members on both sides of our family have been having issues requiring our assistance.

3. My oldest son made it to the state tournament in baseball which means a zillion baseball games over the last couple of weeks. Seriously... my farmer tan is out of control!!!

4. My 2nd son is in the midst of his baseball season but hmm... that is another thing we have sort of put on the backburner... too much conflicting with other schedules.

5. Both of the older boys are testing in taekwondo this month.

6. Colton is a mama's boy who only occasionally is happy long enough to let me get anything done.

The list could go on forever. LIFE IS CRAZY!!!

At the beginning of the summer I joined a new competition on http://www.weightlosswars.com/ . It's been totally on the back burner. I even missed a weigh in last week. OY!! I have managed to stay at least in the top 5 though (of 24)... and even though I have not lost a TON of weight... I am down a couple of lbs from where I ended the last competition. Here are all the reasons I am SO proud of that.

Weight loss maintenance can be tricky... especially in stressful times. I am SO excited that I have not GAINED!!! With everything I've been dealing with I have managed to maintain and even lose. You hear people mention stress ALL THE TIME as a reason why they have gained weight. Although stress can be the trigger... I really believe it's because we allow ourselves to overeat that we gain weight. We feel so out of control when we are stressed, in all aspects of our lives, that it feels natural to let CRAP we KNOW we shouldn't be putting in our mouth, slip right past our lips. I do admit to doing this over the last couple of weeks. I have eaten stuff I KNOW I shouldn't be eating. HOWEVER... I have refused to allow myself to OVER-EAT!! I've still made sure that everything I put in my mouth was a conscious decision... so yes... when I ate that FANTASTIC breakfast burrito from the closest to authentic Mexican place we've got... I thought about the caloric content with every bite! ;o) (And still managed to finish it!) Yesterday I finally went to the grocery store and picked up my favorite foods that are actually okay with my diet. This week, regardless of all the craziness that I will inevitably encounter... I'm going to stick to my nutritional preferences! I am thinking that IF I am good and stick to it... I will be in the 130's by next week at this time! WOW!!! The 130's... CRAZY!!!

I think back to January... when I got on the scale at the gym. I knew that when I stood on the scale, it would be the last time I ever saw the number I saw BUT... it was horrific. I couldn't believe I was 198 lbs. Here is some proof! ;o)

These pics mean a lot to me. I had become complacent. I had completely decided that I would be fat forever and these pictures represented me finally just accepting myself as a big girl. My BUTT is GINORMOUS in this picture. But I let her take the pic anyway cause I figured... it is what it is.

This one kills me. I was hiding behind my husband, it was part of the RULES I created for the photographer. No pics of my big body. My hubby is a lean man... so hiding me behind him wasn't easy. I actually thought this was a great picture when I saw it. Now I look at it and can't believe my face was THAT BIG!! Here is a more recent face shot.

I honestly don't know what lit the fire under my bum. I really had accepted fat as my reality. I got a Lane Bryant (aka fat girl store) card in DECEMBER and bought 2 new pairs of jeans that day! But in January I was finally ready to take the plunge and do it. So... here I go. I must take the plunge once again! I am still not sure what a "healthy" goal is for me. I've tossed around a few different numbers. I think that I have decided that my goal is 120 lbs!! Only 22 lbs to go! ;o)