Vent mostly

Okay... so I am excited that I have had so much success with all of this weight loss stuff. I've managed to lose weight and continue to nurse my little guy. I wish that I could be dropping weight like Brekke but there is no way I would be producing milk if I went down to less than 900 calories a day, no matter how healthy those calories are. I want this so bad... but I just can't see letting go of my last month of nursing so I can reach my goal. (Well.. I CAN see it... and then I feel incredibly selfish!) Nursing definitely does NOT help me lose weight... in fact, I usually gain weight while I'm nursing. SOOOO.... what's a girl to do when she can't get past a stupid plateau but needs to reach her goal? I've seriously been staring into the sky all morning trying to figure out HOW I can make this work. I'm at a loss. I will continue to count points, and work out... but UGH!

Frustrated!

Okay... I have lost like 3 lbs. I guess I should be really happy with that... but I feel like it's so slow! I want everything to just fall off. I have a hard time with my points, I feel like I have way too many. I just want WW to work optimally for me. It's hard because I am nursing an almost 11 month old and I just don't see why I should give myself 5 whole points for a baby who nurses 3 times a day. I'm not giving myself exercise points or flex points but... IDK... I just want the weight to come off faster. It's like my goal is so reachable, but also impossible at this rate. I want to be healthy... but I WANT TO BE THIN! It's fantastic to have people tell me how great I look.. but the truth is that I'm still CONSIDERABLY overweight. Being a size 12/14 is NOT where I want to be, and certainly not healthy when I'm 5'3". Any WW experts out there who have nursed while on the program? I would love to understand the importance of eating nursing points. I keep switching around the points and changing my nursing allotment. I think I just need to figure out EXACTLY how many points I should eat and STICK WITH IT!

I am way too impatient with this.



On an upbeat note! I am FINALLY in the 150's! Geeze I swear I had to squeeze this one out. My camera is officially dead... may it rest in peace. My cell phone camera is CRAP BUT... I did take a pic with it.


I just updated my ticker and realized that I have officially lost 35 lbs! AND that I've lost more lbs than I have left to lose! BONUS! I am officially "half way". Maybe I will go to my mom's and take some half way there pics like Whitney! I just wish this had happened 2 weeks ago and I was more excited about it.

Confession

Okay. So I too am an obsessive weigher. I wanted to try to stay off the scale until Monday but I have no will power. Isn't that funny? I can refrain from eating yummy foods when they are staring me in the face, but I weigh myself like the scale might be gone in the morning.
Weight watchers has been FANTASTIC for me. I am able to stick to basically the same diet, but I also have a cap on my food for the day. It's nice to have a number to get to. I eat more when I have to in order to reach my points (which is everyday) and I don't feel like I might be starving myself or something. It took at least 4 days before I saw smaller numbers on the scale but it's fantastic to FINALLY see some weight coming off this month. I don't think I can hit that 8 lb mark again... but I will keep pushing it and sticking to my diet and see what happens.
I've been running a lot lately and really enjoy it. I'm excited for the next 5k but a little nervous because it is a hilly course. I really prefer to run flat surfaces! ;o)
I was thinking yesterday about my weight struggles over the last 9 years and wondered why I didn't do this before. I mean, I have "TRIED" but I am with Katie when it comes to the word TRY, it's like an excuse all in itself. I've TRIED but have never actually pushed aside all the excuses and just done it.
I'm not sure what made this time different but it is different and today, I can say I've lost over 30 pounds in 3.5 months! :o)
So here's to losing at least 15 more in the next 6 weeks!! I've got weight watchers going for me now, and am not afraid to kick my own butt ;o)

Yes!

Okay.. so I started weight watchers on Friday. It has been an interesting adjustment and I've found that my biggest problem is that I DON'T EAT ENOUGH! The first day I had 18 points left for dinner.... a little too many... the next couple of days I have had around 12 points at dinner time. I'm trying to learn to spread my food out better, but am making sure to eat all of my points. I'm not giving myself exercise points though... It's hard enough to eat the points I've got! (FYI... I have 29 points because I am nursing!)

I went to the grocery store the other day and there were some samples of this cheese slices... they are made by Borden and they are tomato basil flavored... (well.. it's like white processed cheese with tomato basil in it) the sample was a grilled cheese sandwich with this cheese. It was way yummy and with my 45 calorie bread and spray butter, I can enjoy a yummy grilled cheese sandwich for only 3 points!!!

I've also been running outside more, at the high school. I really like being outside in this way too pretty weather.

I have made a commitment to myself to give weight watchers a chance without being psycho and so... I will not weigh myself for one whole week. Hopefully by next week I will be in the 150's because last time I checked... the 160's had me by the toes! I think that this month will not be nearly as great as other months have been for me, but I will be happy as long as I continue to lose weight and KNOW that I am working hard to get what I want. I really hope it works for me because I am OCD when it comes to numbers, so counting points is really fun for me! It's also been fun to NOT look at carbohydrate content.... I was going nuts with that... so the fact that the points only involve calories, fat and fiber is a nice change! :o)

Something new

Okay... I'm bored out of my mind. I'm sick of eating the same things. I'm sick of NEVER having a treat. I still feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants with my diet. TODAY I'M DONE WITH MY NUTRITIONAL PREFERENCES!! That's right. I'm jumping on the weight watchers wagon. I am going to attempt to do weight watchers by using all the amazing tools on Melissa's bloggy. Hopefully this will be a good change for me. I just want to learn how to pay attention to portion sizes and pick healthy foods and I think that the WW new momentum plan is a good step in the right direction. So... we will see how it all works out. Right now.. I'm right at the weight I was on the 5th. So I've only got a couple weeks to make this work for me! I just really hope I won't regret it!

Kids say the darndest things..

So the other day I was talking to my boys about running... we are planning on running a 5k as a family. I must have mentioned that it's hard and sometimes their bodies will hurt when my 7 year old looked at me and said "Mom, pain is just weakness leaving your body!" (This, I'm sure, is something he's been taught in gymnastics!) So.. because I am an "over-thinker" I was up most of the night thinking about this statement!

I think that through all of life's struggles, it takes the pain to make us stronger people. I also think of those times when I'm at the gym and it hurts. I know that when I push past the pain, I'm building endurance, and when I let it get the better of me, I feel like I've failed. So the next time I'm on the treadmill and I think maybe I'm pushing myself too hard, or I'm tempted to change my goal by 1/2 a mile, I'm going to imagine the weakness drifting away! Because my little guy was absolutely right and in the end, all of the pain is worth the strength you gain when you push through it. :o)

Some pics

So... here are some before/after pics from January to April. It's amazing to see the difference in just 3 months. I did do some for March-April in the black stuff but I really don't see that big of a difference. These pics are worth a thousand words though! ;o) Wish I had just gone ahead and taken the first pics with something more revealing... but I'm still glad that I have them to compare with.

April-May is kind of a big deal for me. I am going to work really hard so I can be below 150 by May 16th. I want to play with my kids at Kangaroo Zoo for their birthday and you have to be 150 lbs or less! ;o)

Woot Woot!!

So... today was the 5k! I don't think that I've ever really said how much being able to do it meant to me. When I was in high school, I ran 5k's, well... actually... I ran 5k's PRETTY FAST! (Like under 22 minutes!) I grew up in Northern California and so, when I moved to Utah, I had a really hard time running. The switch in elevation is a hard thing to get used to and I pretty much STOPPED running. It's been 12 years since I ran a 5k and although I ran it a lot slower then I have in the past, I DID IT!!
In August I had the opportunity to have a personal trainer for 3 weeks FOR FREE! I didn't sign up because I am dirt poor.. and I quit going to the gym after the 3 weeks BUT, I did sit down with the main guy (who tries to sell trainer sessions like they are VITAL TO LIFE) and when I told him that one of my goals was to run a 5k... he pretty much told me that my fat ass would probably not be able to do that for at least a year! (THANKS A-HOLE!) So, it was fun today to prove him wrong. I've only been exercising for 3 months and today, I RAN a 5k in 35:46. I RAN the whole way! And... I must admit... I am TOTALLY ADDICTED! I will def. be running the Memorial Day 5k and I might run a couple of 1 mile things in between just to do some speed training. We got all this information on local running groups and I'm excited to start having my boys run races too! I even hope that next time I run a 5k, my hubby will be running with me! (He played soccer in high school and did LOTS of running! ;o) )
Thank you to (in alphabetical order) Ethan, Melissa, Nicholette and Rochelle who all joined me in this exciting adventure. It was so fun to have the support of each other. Can't wait to see the pics we got.. we all looked so hot in our best "running while it's snowing" attire! ;o)

Last night was a lot of fun! It was neat to get together with the gals who could do the last minute girls night. We got to reminisce on our childhoods and hear lots of great songs from the past, courtesy of Heather and Katie M. It was also AWESOME to watch Mindy take on the "stairs from hell", seriously Mindy, you are amazing! ;o)

Finally!

I think that after losing nearly 30 lbs, I finally need to go ahead and find some smaller pants. I realized the other day that NONE of my pants are even remotely flattering. Everything is so lose and baggy. I'm not sure how to go about getting "in between" sizes! I def. don't want to go out and buy smaller pants to wear for 2 months. Anyone got any "fat" pants laying around in size 12/14?