New year....

I've been trying to imagine what I would write on the first day of the new year.  I must admit, I never expected to be anticipating so much change in the next 365 days.  I face this new year with FEAR.  Fear for what we may be encountering, that I might not be able to hold it together, that I might become more vulnerable and less confidant in the world around me.  It's already starting of course, I struggle daily to find a new focus.. one that doesn't involve time... and time is something I desperately strive to overcome.  Whatever is to come in the next year, I pray for strength to not lose myself. 

I'm starting nursing school in 10 days. I'm excited and nervous.  I am smart, I know I will do fantastic... but I'm also easily annoyed and don't like stupid people.  I get frustrated with people who repeatedly ask stupid questions.  I am sort of a social oddity.  I'm funny, clever, whitty, blunt, honest, intelligent, and did I mention I hate stupid people?   I just honestly have no idea if I will have a single friend in school, because few people get me, or should I say?? Few people can keep up with me.  It's funny that I worry about this because the reality is, I don't REALLY care if people LIKE me... but I do care when they don't.  I am not used to having peers.  I have been out of school for 12.5 years. I identify with my fat self, which makes no sense to people who didn't know me when I was bigger.  UGH!!  I guess maybe this year I should just figure out who the hell I am!! 

So here goes.. my goals for 2011.  The things I CAN CONTROL!!!

I will run 1000 miles this year, including at least 2 half marathons and one sprint triathlon.

I will get down to my maintenance weight and stay between 120-125 lbs. 

I will THRIVE (not just survive) in nursing school.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.