My life has been upturned and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I didn't think that I would be feeling so stressed and isolated but WOW... adjusting to this move is harder than I thought. The hardest part has actually been that my hubby has been working CRAZY hours and I haven't had a MOMENT of child free play. I discovered there is a yoga place in this tiny town and although I've NEVER done yoga... I think I'm going to become a yoga master as soon as my hubby starts working normal hours and coming home in time for me to venture out alone!!
Amidst all of this, I've been trying to cope with OLD habits. If you've ever seen my progressive pic, you will notice all the sores on my upper arm in my earliest photo. I AM A PICKER!! The bigger I got, the more I picked. It is easy for me to resolve this by getting fake nails but now that I am away from the gal who did my nails, I decided to try it without the safety blanket and holy crap.. STRESS + NO NAILS = I am totally a picker. I had hoped that I had somehow left that part of me behind a good 30 lbs ago but alas, she is still here.
Another thing I've been doing is eating... ALOT!! Fortunately, I don't have a lot of "off limits" foods in my house... the worst I've mindlessly ate is goldfish crackers... BUT.. I've just been eating and eating and the worst part is that because of my allergies, I can't really even taste anything... but I still eat. I've had to pull out the carrots a couple of times to put something at least healthy out for my eating frenzies.. but... I just feel like I've lost control... and although I'm making much BETTER choices than I would have this time last year, it's disheartening to realize that I will always be a work in progress. I somehow had hoped that it would be second nature to me... that I would be so in control that no amount of stress could force me to do anything NOT in alignment with what I've been preaching these days.
It is what it is... I'm out of control.
Luckily, I am hopeful... that this is just another step towards total transformation in my life. I have got to LEARN how to deal with stress... and how to do it without tipping the scale. Honestly, if I were the same person this year as I was last year... this move probably would have meant a 20 lb gain. But I'm not her anymore. I will not punish myself... I am going to move forward. :o) BUT... I will not pretend that it is easy.. because it's not. I am a real person... and I can't ALWAYS do everything right. But.. I do learn from every experience. Right now I am learning that I need to NOT buy goldfish... at least until I have time to have ME TIME!! :o)