I've seen some of you girls use words like "humbling" or "motivational" in regards to before pics. I honestly feel like my before pics are discouraging. I know how I got to this point and I won't linger, but these pictures make it all look SO HARD! I've always been one of those people who has things come relatively easy to me when it comes to learning new things. I realize now that I always back down when I don't have instant results. I am SO grateful for this competition and all of you. I realize that just as much about FINISHING SOMETHING as it is about losing weight for me.
It is so awesome to share a common goal with so many women who are all here to support eachother.
On another note: I feel motivated to do so much more in life lately. I actually woke up and put on makeup and wore a shirt that showed my arms yesterday. That might sound bizzarro but I HATE showing my arms and legs. Part of that is because I am INCREDIBLY WHITE, part is because they are FAT and part is because I have scars all over my body. I have always been a "picker". Yes as nasty as that sounds I pick at scabs. I pick at dry skin until it becomes a scab and then pick at that. I've come to realize it's an anxiety issue but I think moreso a self esteem thing. I guess I feel like I'm trapped in this body and so, I pick at it, to punish it or something. Anyway, it felt amazing to just smile and laugh and dance with my little guys. To feel pretty if just for a moment. I can't wait to have more days like that. :o) I also am grateful that I DON'T own a scale. I have to go to my mom's to weigh myself which requires me to "go into town"! I can't imagine the mind games I would be playing with myself if that damn scale was sitting next to me everytime I peed! I think I would go crazy!
Hmm.. I think I've rambled enough today! Thanks to all of you for supporting me. Together we can change eachother. :o)