Kay.. so I'm still going to the gym, I'm even sticking to my diet... but... I just don't have any passion these days. I want to throw my alarm when it goes off at 4:30 in the frickin' morning. I want to burn those damn cookies that are still sitting on my counter from valentine's that I can't eat... (but my boys don't seem to eat either!) I think what I really need is to get on the scale and see a smaller number, but I fear the opposite so I stay away. I'm still frustrated from Thursday and I feel like I'm in a rut.
I actually asked the owner of my gym if she would do like personal training for cleaning... I.E. she trains me, I clean her gym. She said NO! Go figure. Today I found my amazing exercise ball has been popped! So I picked up a new one at wal-mart. I'm mostly excited for the poster that shows all the exercises you can do with it. I am hoping this helps get me back on track. It's amazing how easy it is to stay motivated when you can really see and feel the changes. I guess I need to step away from the scale and try on my before outfit again... or see how my wedding ring is fitting these days. I even went through old pics today trying to find motivational skinny ones. The biggest problem with me is that I HAVEN'T been thin since I was 19, so it feels silly to morn my adolescent size. But at the same time... I want some sort of picture in my head of what my goal "looks" like. I guess it shouldn't be so frustrating but... it is!
I am WAY grateful for this competition and all of you because without you, I might have decided that it wasn't worth fighting for. So maybe I'll throw my alarm when it goes off... but I'm still getting out of bed and that's something right?