5k Saturday!

The 5k is so close we can practically feel our legs burning! I was thinking that we should maybe do a girls night or something on Friday. Like we all go to pick up our shirts and bibs at the same time and then head out to a meal of some sort... (EVERYONE CAN COME TO THE FOOD!!!!)

It would be fun to know who all is planning to participate in the 5k. So if you are one of those people... I would love to figure out when/where to meet so we can get some cute pics and all! ;o)

Back to the gym

So this morning I FINALLY got back in the gym. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel but I told myself that I HAD to do 3 miles on the treadmill whether I RAN, JOGGED, WALKED, or DIED! Just needed to get my butt moving. I managed to get it done in about 38 minutes. I'm just thrilled that I got it done. I also went to the grocery store yesterday and stocked up on veggies and fruits, yogurt, etc. I'm excited to be back to eating 6 times a day, I was getting lazy while I was sick and lucky if I had 2 meals. I have a new goal for the month. I want to be at or below 165. This would be right around a 7 lb loss for the month. Anything more I will definitely take... but I just want to be moving in the right direction.
It's been fun reading all of your successes lately. It sounds like Rochelle, and Shellie are really rocking on the weight loss this month!! GO GIRLS!!
The best thing about this competition is that each day is an opportunity. So I'm taking the opportunity to rock the next 2 weeks. I hope you will all join me! ;o)

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Wow! So this week, I went down hard with Strep. I've been taking antibiotics since Wednesday and still feel about 70%! I don't really know what is the best course of action diet/exercise wise. I don't want to push myself and not get better because I should be resting. My kidneys are stressed and I have noticed a large amount of blood in my urine. I've had kidney problems for a while.... but I hate the Dr. so I try to avoid going at all costs! (PLUS I HAVE A $2000 DEDUCTIBLE!) My body is just worn out all the time and my head is often pounding.
The scale is literally laughing at me and I've lost and gained several lbs over the course of the week I've been sick. I have thought about going to the gym and just doing something simple like the eliptical.... but then I think it would just feel better to sleep and maybe even be better for me.
I also have a lot on my plate as far as life goes. My in-laws are leaving for an 18 month stint in the Philippines and I'm helping with a big going away type party, plus we have a bunch of family get togethers for the next week. I just hope I survive everything.

DIET?

Alright... so I hate saying the word DIET, especially when it comes to things I CAN'T eat. I have decided to forever more replace the word "diet" with the phrase "nutritional preferences." I feel that this phrase encompasses what this whole thing is really about. I hate saying.. oh, it's against my diet.. So I will now say, "no thank you, it's not one of my "nutritional preferences."" See how much better that sounds. It emphasizes that I AM MAKING A CHOICE... plus... it kind of weirds people out! ;o)

Finally?

This is my ADORABLE 2 year old, Dominic! I weighed myself this morning and guess what?? I've lost more than his weight in FAT!!! Seriously... wrap that kid around my middle and that's what I looked like 9 weeks ago!! I couldn't be more excited. :o) This week has been tricky for me. I've changed everything up with my exercise and although I haven't completely changed my diet, I have eliminated and added certain things into my diet based on the recommendation of my friend who is a nutrition expert. (SORT OF!) Seeing smaller numbers on the scale is fantastic! I hope to keep seeing the lbs come off... 1/2 a lb by 1/2 a lb!

I'm also excited to report that after losing more than 23 lbs, my clothes may officially be "too big"! My pants are baggy all over and they button with NO effort and a little slack. I did try on some smaller pants that I had in my drawer the other day but realized that the 12" long waist is just too far from modern to wear in public. They fit though.. which was a lot of fun... but I'm just not used to having my pants button 4 inches above my belly button. I also tried on a shirt that was a Medium yesterday and it looked pretty dang good on me. I put a shirt on that I used to wear all the time... mostly because it was black and didn't cling to my rolls. I couldn't believe how big it was on me and really how UNFLATTERING. I found pics on my cell phone of me wearing it and it couldn't believe how far I've come!

I thought that all my fat was in my middle... but my arms, shoulders, and everything else were equally ginormous!
(Don't mind the retard face. It's amazing how hard it was for me to smile in pics when I knew I looked like a cow!)

My face has also changed a ton in the last couple of months. And I'm excited that I have lost this HUGE cheek thing I had going on!

I'm also very grateful that I have lost my "pregnant" tummy!!

It's amazing how far my stomach used to stick out. I got asked weekly when I was expecting and honestly, it didn't offend me because I DID look pregnant! My sister, who is small and standing next to me on MY right in this pic (your left) has also been working really hard to lose weight and she is down 10 lbs!!! (and probably 4 pant sizes!) I need to get together with her and take some NEW pics with our smaller bodies! ;o) For now... I don't have much to compare these pics to. So for those of you who have seen me recently, you can see how far I've come.
And just for fun... my landlord was driving past me as I brought the mail in the other day and she pulled over just to say "look at you all skinny! You look awesome!LOVED IT!! It's amazing how good it feels when people tell you you are doing a good job. Regardless of what it is you are working hard on!

Training for 5k

Okay so for the next 4 weeks I am officially "training" for the 5k on April 4th. I printed up a training schedule on the Internet and am going to focus all of my workouts around this schedule. This means I will not be exercising as much as I have been! I do have a fear that change will stall my weight loss but, this [the 5k] is a goal I have had for a really long time and I know that if I stick to my diet I will continue to lose weight.

My goal for the 5k is to complete it in under 35 minutes! We shall see. For now, I'm keeping track of how fast I'm running in a new list on the sidebar. I definitely want to be able to see where I started and how far I've come when I'm done with all of this.

This morning I ran 2.5 miles in 28 minutes, 50 seconds! I am really excited about this number! Can't wait to see where it goes from here! ;o)

Lifestyle change?

So Nicholette brought up this "is this a lifestyle change" issue and I thought I should clarify.

YES!! The reason why I have CHOSEN to be rid of sugar and anything that is not WHOLE grains is because I think it is something I can EASILY do for the rest of my life. I can't imagine having to count calories of points for the rest of my life! Once I am at my goal weight, I will not be AS psycho about it but seriously... I think EVERYONE knows that when we veer too far from our diet, we end up being punished on the scale, with only ourselves to blame. If I'm going to eat carbs that aren't good for me by eating bread that is not whole grain... I WOULD WAY PREFER TO EAT some of the JUNK FOOD that is sitting around. I mean, if eating a butterfinger is just as bad for me... why the hell waste the opportunity to cheat on bread?

My anxiety comes from fear of failure. I have never lost this much weight in my life. I've never been this dedicated to a goal. When I started this blog, I named it FINISH WHAT YOU START, because I never do. I don't want to get through this half-assing it! I want to GIVE IT MY ALL! So I can really be proud of the fact that I FINISHED it with 100% effort.

This weekend

So my hubby and I got to spend the weekend at a timeshare in Midway with his family. It was a ton of fun and I was excited that they had a gym! :o) The hardest part for me was the food. There was tons of yummy food EVERYWHERE! Treats, treats and MORE TREATS!! It's one thing to not eat stuff like that when I'm at home because I don't have it around... but this weekend was nuts. I resisted temptation but... I still had a hard time. My mom-in-law planned meals with my diet in mind which was so FANTASTIC!!! I was just terrified to eat food if I didn't know what was in it.

Corn chips? Umm... IDK.. I haven't eaten corn chips! Wheat french bread? IDK is it WHOLE wheat? Whole wheat pancakes... AWESOME but wait.. pancakes without syrup? Hmm... IDK about honey... I know it's raw/organic but.. it has so many carbs. AHHH!!!!

My husband is actually mad at me for being thoughtless this weekend. He got pissed at the number of times I said, "I can't eat that." It's easy to just pass up stuff without saying anything, but when people are pointing out that they've gone out of their way for you... "here have some bread, I didn't butter this part because I didn't know if you could have butter" and I reply... "Oh thanks, but I really can't eat the bread" and they respond that "it's WHEAT" and how do you deal? ... it's hard to not feel like a total JERK!! I mean... I don't eat LOTS of bread. I do eat whole wheat when it fits the meal... like a sandwich, but I don't eat bread as a filler with my meal. AHH!!! Why does it all have to be so complicated?

I do have an AMAZING mom-in-law who really thought about me when she did her shopping this weekend... and I'm afraid I spent the whole weekend coming across as very ungrateful! :o(

One thing I've noticed about dieting is how isolated it makes me feel. I get anxiety about leaving my house because I worry about what I will eat if I leave. Maybe I should have spent the weekend eating whatever was offered to me... but I've worked really hard to lose the weight I have and I would hate to throw ANY of that away.

I have always been an anxious person but, getting fit is supposed to make me feel better about myself... right now, it's making me crazy!

Pics...

So now that I can button the pants, the effect just isn't the same. I think I'll keep taking pics in this outfit but today I went ahead and did a bikini type pic. I think I will spare you all those pictures until I have some results to compare them to. So next month you have something to look forward to! ;o)

I just want to say a BIG CONGRATS to KATIE M. , who literally worked her butt off this month. WAY TO GO KATIE!!! 19+ lbs in one month is huge!

So far I fall just short of my goals each month. This month I'm shooting for 12 lbs. I also have A TON ON MY PLATE so hopefully I can still make it happen. I will be training for the 5k this month and running it the day before the next weigh in. 12 lbs would put me in the 150's! We'll see how it goes.

Mindless Eating

Last night I had the craziest dream.... er... nightmare. I was going somewhere with my fam and I bought a couple of 20 oz bottles of Dr. Pepper and drank them, didn't even think twice. Then we got to wherever we were going and I just started eating EVERYTHING in sight. All the while I was feeling horribly guilty and mindful that I had a weigh in today and was probably going to gain 10 lbs. I even threw a little tantrum in my dream, I was EMOTIONALLY eating... something was really bothering me. Later in the dream I started to feel guilty about the Dr. Pepper too.. and mad that I had drank it without REALIZING what I was doing. OKAY.. WAY BIZARRE!! I'm glad that dreams don't make you gain weight cause ... wow! I'd be like a BL contestant who has immunity! UGH!!

It is amazing to me that this dream WAS my reality. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I ate it just because it was there, without a second thought about what I was doing to my body. Dr. Pepper was my drug of choice. 2-20 ozs a day was pretty typical... that's AT LEAST 500 calories a day not to mention 135 bad carbs and then there's the sodium... all from A DRINK!

I LOVE that I consciously eat now. I once took a parenting class where the instructor described the process of learning new parenting as starting out as subconsciously incompetent, then switching to consciously incompetent. (As we realize we are doing it all wrong!) Next came consciously competent and finally subconsciously competent. Right now I am consciously competent when it comes to my eating habits and diet. I do have to make an effort and remind myself to make good choices. I hope that by the end of all of this I will be subconsciously competent! I CAN'T WAIT to make good choices all the time without having to think about it.

Milestones

Okay so... yesterday I stepped on the scale and realized I had "officially" lost 20 lbs! February has been a hard month for me but I can't be disappointed that in 7 weeks I've lost 10.3% of my body weight!!! 2 lbs a week is not a bad rate so here's to 2 more pounds by weigh in!

I have had a fun time wearing shirts that have never fit me. I'm not really big on trying things on so I have a few items in my drawers that I bought because of the size that were never flattering. Yesterday I put on this cute little tee with rainbows and my 2 year old was SO impressed! "Mom, where you get the rainbows?" I asked him if he liked it and he was like.. "YEAH!!!" So cute. Then my 7 year old saw me in it and was like "AWESOME SHIRT MOM!" So funny. I think they are so used to seeing me in black that they were shocked to see me in a pink rainbow shirt!

I also got to go running outdoors for the first time yesterday. WOW! I only ran 2 miles but it was amazing to run 2 miles straight and feel fantastic. I want to go again today but we shall see. I have a few people who are willing to run with me so I'm excited to use March as a time to really get ready for the 5k April 4th! I already registered for it! I'm SOOO excited. 100 years ago when I was skinny... (okay it was 10) I ran cross country in high school and I LOVED running for therapeutic purposes. It's so exciting that FINALLY I can do it again.