Last night I had the craziest dream.... er... nightmare. I was going somewhere with my fam and I bought a couple of 20 oz bottles of Dr. Pepper and drank them, didn't even think twice. Then we got to wherever we were going and I just started eating EVERYTHING in sight. All the while I was feeling horribly guilty and mindful that I had a weigh in today and was probably going to gain 10 lbs. I even threw a little tantrum in my dream, I was EMOTIONALLY eating... something was really bothering me. Later in the dream I started to feel guilty about the Dr. Pepper too.. and mad that I had drank it without REALIZING what I was doing. OKAY.. WAY BIZARRE!! I'm glad that dreams don't make you gain weight cause ... wow! I'd be like a BL contestant who has immunity! UGH!!
It is amazing to me that this dream WAS my reality. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I ate it just because it was there, without a second thought about what I was doing to my body. Dr. Pepper was my drug of choice. 2-20 ozs a day was pretty typical... that's AT LEAST 500 calories a day not to mention 135 bad carbs and then there's the sodium... all from A DRINK!
I LOVE that I consciously eat now. I once took a parenting class where the instructor described the process of learning new parenting as starting out as subconsciously incompetent, then switching to consciously incompetent. (As we realize we are doing it all wrong!) Next came consciously competent and finally subconsciously competent. Right now I am consciously competent when it comes to my eating habits and diet. I do have to make an effort and remind myself to make good choices. I hope that by the end of all of this I will be subconsciously competent! I CAN'T WAIT to make good choices all the time without having to think about it.