Thursday, March 4, 2010

Body Image

I know no one wants to hear this.... but it's the truth.
The scale is staying the same.. but I am noticing BAD changes in my body.
My boobs seem to be slightly bigger.. this scares me. I start to worry that I am increasing fatty tissue on my body (because boobs are fat!). I also feel like my middle is growing.. but once again the scale is always between 120 and 124. I was getting ready to go out with a friend yesterday and put on an outfit I would normally think I look cute in. I looked in the mirror and thought, "GEEZE I look wide in this!" Then I got mad at myself. I actually said out loud, "WHY!?? Why can't I see myself as thin. I'm wearing size 3 freakin' jeans.. I know I'm not fat!!"
It's so frustrating. I just want to look at my body and be proud of it. Instead I'm always over analyzing and stressing over small changes.
I swear it is the nature of women to never be happy with their bodies. It starts when we are small and we never get over it. My name is Karilynn and I'm an obsessive, over analyzer. First step is admitting you have a problem right?

12 comments:

Jessica B said...

Thats so right! I teach it, preach it, and live it. Once I admit it I can then proceed to blow myself and all those dirty sticky though off just like I do everyone else, because I know its just how we are wired. see dont you feel better now? lol :0)

Melissa said...

I agree, it totally is the nature of women to be that way! Even if you are took look at images and remember yourself heavy, we settle into our "new" and become comfortable and start picking that apart. It's a hard habit to break! We are also women with hormones and one day can be high on life feeling great and the next feeling blah and fat.

WITH ALL THAT SAID....LOOK IN THE MIRROR Karilynn! YOU ARE A SIZE 3!!! a size 3!!! not a size...what size were you?! any more!

Cindi said...

When I read your post the first thing I thought of was Geez maybe your pregnant!! Thats the only time my boobs would grow. Just a wild thought. Anyway you look awesome. I have a feeling I would be the same way if I lost all my weight. I thought I was overweight when I weighed 105. We are crazy.
Sorry if I'm starting a rumor.... haha

Amanda said...

My thoughts were with Cindi...Are you pregnant? That would be when my boobs grow. But hey I have to preach with everyone else...YOU'RE SMALLER THAN MOST WOMEN EVER ARE!!!! MOST WOMEN BY PASS THE SIZE 3 STAGE IT's NOT EVEN DREAMABLE!!!!! I vote get you're hair cut short! HOT AND SEXY...yeah you know where I'm going with this. :) SMILE there's a lot of people that admire what you've done with yourself!

Nancy said...

Kari if you can figure out how to get women to think differently you will become a bagillionaire! You ARE amazing and great insperation to so many. Stay proud...you deserve it.

- said...

okay so my thoughts are this . You've been "obsessing" about maybe getting a boob job right? So this is a little answer to prayer. Look at the bright side the scale isn't changing, you are a size 3 (which most would die to be), D will be happy with the little more than a handful :o), and you didn't have to pay the $28,000 to get them. Not making light of your situation just pointing out the positives!!!

Samantha Thomas said...

Welcome to the club Karilynn! I so think about that all the time.

Jewel said...

Yes women always tend to overanalyze everything and distort our images in the mirror..BUT that was very powerful that you were able to focus on the reality of your small size rather than the distorted picture you painted of yourself!

WeightWatcher Mama said...

i find it strange that you call these LITTLE changes you notice "BAD". i can't say i'm happy with my body, but know you are not alone when it comes to over analyzing your body!

Robyn said...

It is called menstration. It makes us feel bloated and our clothes never look the same. Anyway really though I know how it goes, although I must admit, I do hate the monthly weigh in pictures for percisely that reason, we get to let it all hang out and see all of our flaws. At least we also get to see them improving. Boobs growing may not be such a bad thing though, all of mine are gone, I decided I am all about the false advertisement. I wear lots of padding :) Anyway hope you feel better about it. Have a great week!!!!!

Lori's Losing it! said...

I so understand how you feel! This morning, I was just telling my husband that just a few more pounds and I will weigh what I weighed when I met him and felt proud and just a few moments after that...I was getting dressed and found myself disgusted with all the fat I still have on my body. It is like part of me knows I look so much better and I know for sure I feel so much better and therefore I must be much healthier yet I still find myself feeling unhappy with where I am. I guess it is a good thing so that we are always striving for better...I mean there is always room for improvement right? That is what keeps us working out and focused on our diet I think, the fact that we can acheive even better. I have not always been heavy, but I have always had this thought process. I remember being a size 4 and feeling fat many years ago then as a size 18 I only wished I were that fat again but something tells me that if I ever see a 4 again that I will not be perfectly happy there either. But it is still worth trying to acheive and trying to maintain because it is definately a healthier size to be, so I will keep at it!

You have acheived so much and continue to acheive by sharing it with others and helping them acheive. Body Image is a tough stigma that women will probably never overcome, but we are also so much more than our flaws. Try to focus on what you have acheived, you have done so much good in your life and the lives of others. :o)

Mindy said...

amen... that's all i have to say about that! AMEN~